write funny checks

I’m hooked. I wrote one yesterday for propane, and put “for giving me gas” in the comment line. We’ll see if they notice.

don’t touch paper that often.
Checks?
Do I even have checks any more?

I have direct deposit, and seem to pay for everything with either a swipe of plastic, followed by entering some random magical numbers on a keypad, or by writing some numbers on the computer and hitting enter.

it’s all ones and zeros, baby.

who wrote on his alimony checks
“For sexual services rendered” in the memo line.

While I thought this was cruel, I felt bad that he had sort of gotten the rotten end of the divorce (he really had) and found it funny he was still getting a monthly jab in there.

I won’t tell you what I once wrote on a parking ticket check I sent it…but it was pretty funny.

I was expecting the police to knock on my door.

:D

It amazes me how pretty well in the 21st century, the American financial system is still littered with such antiquated systems as hand-written checks.

1. when I get checks, I have to physically “endorse” them, go to an ATM and cash them in, or mail them in. What a waste of time (and paper). All this when my banking account doesn’t physically exist; all that it is, is a bunch of bits in a bank’s electronic storage
2. some people, especially old folks, prefer to use checks, because debit/credit cards are more difficult to use! I mean, think about the numerous steps to use a credit card at Safeway:
• Find card
• swipe card wrong way
• realize it was wrong, turn it around,
• keep turning till you finally get it right
• enter pin
• realize you’ve just entered the wrong pin
• try re-entering
• watch as the cashier sighs/rolls their eyes because you’re paying for a newspaper, pack of cigarettes and some gum on a debit card
• select no cash back
• validate purchase
• realize you forgot something and cancel the whole transaction, further pissing off the cashier
• add your new item
• re swipe card
• ......

Finally, when I write checks, there’s place to put in all sorts of silly and redundant information.

For the last reason, I will take my revenge on checks. Here’s my first entry, a check to pay the garbage. Click the picture :)