Put my inner critic in its place because it's not the boss of me!

A terrible thought has moved into my mind
Like an unwanted room-mate drunk on wine
It feeds on my happiness won’t pay the rent
I must take proper measures to evict it

A terrible thought has moved into my mind
A giant rat that’s nibbling on my pride
It’s tearing away my patience and my wit
I must take proper measures set a trap for it

What a terrible thought
I don’t care what you’ve done
I don’t care who you’ve won
I know in the end you’ll have your fun

But you can’t have it here
And I won’t let you steer
You know I don’t want you in my mind

I must stay calm you know and I must be clear
It’s gonna take a hundred thoughts to make this one disappear
A train like that could travel a soul for years
A terrible thought could have a terribly long career

What minds have you shredded
I bet they regretted
Having ever thought you up
Just look at you shine
Commiting your crimes
You know I don’t want you in my mind

‘Cause you’re breaking my stride
You poisonous vine
You’re strangling me inside
You’re breaking my stride
You poisonous vine
You’re strangling me inside
You’re breaking my stride

~Poe

I love painting. I love the creative process. I love getting absorbed in my work. I love stripping everything down to the interaction of colour and shape. I love bright vibrant colours. I love interesting compositions. I love painting upside down and the flipping it over and being surprised how it turned out.

I hate looking at the finished product once I’m done. I can always think of something that I want to change or improve or “make better.” The texture of this, the colour of that, this section should be more smooth and refined, that section should be more raw and spontaneous and uninhibited. The style of the brushstrokes in that corner is not consistent with the style of the other corner. Blah, blah, blah. What’s the point? I don’t paint because I want pretty pictures to hang on my walls. I do it because I love the journey and I love the process of getting in touch my creative side and looking at the world from a brighter and fresher perspective. If it’s not about the desination, there is no sense in judging the final product.

So I must repeat my new mantra: I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork. I will not criticize my own artwork.

I should just hide it in a closet for a few months and look at it with fresh eyes later. It’s funny – the week after I paint something I always hate it because all of its flaws are so fresh in my mind that they are the first things i notice. But months later I have forgotten about them, so they are not obvious to me, and i am often surprised when i see a painting that i remember as being hideous. i think: “i painted that? how did i do it?” when it’s a really good one i barely remember the process – the painting just kind of takes over and evolves on its own.

There’s no such thing as “WRONG” art. It’s art. It can’t be incorrect.