stop being passive

i an alway the person in the gruop that doesnt say anything ,i stay quiet when theres a problem or just black out how i feel im tired of it and i tell my boyfriend im a dumbass for being quiet and i know it get anoying the quietness and that i call myself a dumbass i am the defenition of passive i dont want to be anymore there are so many times i wanted to let out my feelingsbut im too passive to do i dont know what to do

I am the most passive person I know!

I am at school in college now and I am in nothing. I have no specialty and don’t know what to do because I have always gone where people told me to go. Now that I gave a pretty important choice to make about my future, I don’t know what to do!

I am now in school doing pretty much nothing. I have all the classes that we have to do in college, like french and english. I suck.

I am also very good in volleyball and did not go to the try-outs because I had no one with who to go. I’m such a freakin’ retard.

I feel like i’m improving on this. I’m starting to be able to speak up for myself, but I’m still not the level I’d like to be. I just can’t help but feel like I’m going to drive people away if I start telling them what I want and stop letting them get their way. I know it’s terrible to think that way because I deserve what I want, after all, I don’t ask for much, but it’s so hard for me. I even feel guilty after speaking up because I feel bad for the person who doesn’t get their way. I especially feel this way towards my boyfriend, and I know he gets annoyed when I don’t tell him what I want.