make a concious effort to live each day like its the first day of my life

the real art is life itself.

its not the books we read, the television shows we watch every week, the music we listen to on the radio. those are mere mirrors and veils that filter and obscure the real expereince.

its those moments where we strip the layers. subtract the symbols. then we are able to actually experience the bitter wind on soft cheek, the way icecream melts in summertime at a farm, how that sculpture looks in unadultered life, the pain of losing loved one, and the beautiful silence of old friends.

to me, that is art. that is life. and that is what i seek.

i was writing a letter to geof and soo many thoughts crossed my mind.

i realized that its the small decisions that define life. choosing people over obligations, walking down spring railroad tracks for hours into the real depth of life. its that sacrafice of time, that imprints the meaning. life changes fast. friends, places, events fade in within moments and if we’re lucky will stay for a lifetime despite the heartache, distance, and change.

but you never know what that lifealtering friend, person, event, choice is going to be. you never know if that person, place, event is going to be at that suprise birthday party, that concert, or that job you despise. and you never know what is gonna last a few months or a lifetime. i think i learned that the hardway in london.

so i guess all you can do is jump deep into life and wring it for everything its worth- adventures, laughter, tears, the whole deal. and hopefully be able to look back and tell lovely, epic tales (that you lived!) where you sucked the marrow out of life itself.

i consider all of you really great small decisions that have magnified and improved my life in immense manners. ive been thinking a lot about friendship lately. and the older i get, the more i move/travel – i have realized how hard it can be to make real friends. i feel so fucking lucky and so fucking blessed to have you all in my life. so thanks for coming along with me for this crazy, beautiful ride.

i think this poem by linford detweiler kinda sums it all up.

Mud Puddle Kiss, Slogging Through The Rain With Her

Here’s an idea
Let’s grab this life and wring its neck with joy
So that when it comes time to die
When we find we have no breath left
It is because we willingly strangled ourselves
With love
Fell down dead
And mostly happy

we dont have time for things in life that are important.
i think we make time for things in life and that imparts its true value and its importance.

so i am deciding what is important to me, who is important to me, and adjusting my actions to reflect my beliefs.

this is kinda the combination of many of my daytoday goals. so eating, exercising, staying organized, managing my time, being only and always love.

i tend to wait for meaningful days to make change or distress in certain forms. i am tired of saying well next week, i’ll eat healthier. next week i’ll drink 8 glasses of water. next week i’ll dothis or i’ll dothat.

this is it. this is now. change can’t begin next week. next week doesnt exist (well in my 7 year old mind all times exists in alternate realities, but that is another topic). this moment is all we have. and if i am not living the life i want to lead today. then i am not leading that life. final. no, ifs, ands, or buts. i am not leading the life i want.

i am dropping excuses. i am dropping the waysout. i want to ask the questions maybe every 15 minutes or so, what can i be doing to improve my life on a big/deep level. i want to make sure that i am living in alignment with simple things. drinking 8 glasses of water, eating healthy, exercising regularly, using my planner, keeping my space organized, staying in touch with those i care about.

those are simple things, that everyone struggles with, but i think a serious focus can quickly alleviate these issues.

this is it. this is it. this moment right here, right now. and i wanna live it deep, big, and evolved.