figure out if I want to get married or not

I have come to the conclusion that things are fine just the way they are. Maybe we wil change our minds some time in the future, but it really doesn’t matter at this point – it works just fine how it is. I know people are not going to understand (hell, just look at the Sex & the City movie)... but they are just going to have to roll with it.

I feel like I am in a very strange position in regards to this. I am feeling a lot of pressure to put pressure on my better half to take the plunge, but I don’t actually know if I want it or not. I feel like its expected of us, more than anything. I know he is not overly keen on the whole giant white wedding thing (and neither am I to be totally honest), but I wonder if what I am put off by is the ‘wedding day’ or the ‘marriage’?? I really can’t tell.
Clearly this means that we shouldn’t do it yet, but it is something that has been bothering me a bit… am I not ‘into’ getting married because he isn’t ‘the one’? am I not ‘into’ getting married because I am a committment phobe? I guess the problem is partly that I feel like there is “something wrong with me” because I haven’t had the damned thing planned since I was two????

to do or not to do – that is the question?