Don't forget or belittle The Dreamer inside

i have a funny feeling about doing salsa. over the past few months, i’ve started to feel that maybe this is it. this is what i’m meant to be doing. yet the idea of becoming really good at it itself seems so distant, impossible and like a ridiculous goal.

i started doing salsa this year for the first time. even though it was and still is something totally foreign to me, right from my first class, i knew i wanted to master the dance. even before i stepped foot in the studio, i had a feeling that the decision i was making by just making myself known to the school would be life changing.

now, i’ve finished the beginner course and have decided to move on to intermediate. the teachers have given me good feedback. the owner personally told me that i should keep at it because they have been watching and could see potential in me and that in the long run, they would like me to perform with them if i was alright with the idea.

but even with that and the crazy feeling that i could possibly use this to change my life around 180, i’m feeling a little discouraged and left out. what if i’m not really what they’re looking for? what if they didn’t really mean what they said? what if they say that to everyone? what if i’m really hopeless? what if i don’t get anywhere with it?

i want so much to be able to dance salsa beautifully and without hesitation, but i find i have the tendency to hold back and stop myself from getting too deep into it, because of this uncertainty. sigh

I have started a dream board to remind myself of my dreams. They feel more tangible and achievable when I have pictures pinned on this board because they remind me if someone else can have these things – why can’t I?

I’ve kinda been feeling like a just got a huge Universal “smackdown” for being too much of a dreamer…
I even had a woman tell me point blank “we all have to get our wings clipped at some point.”

But I decided this morning to change my perspective (back). I decided not see the recent events as a universal smackdown, but rather the doubt and fear and envy of more limited souls that impose their energy/ideas/faith (or lack thereof) on to me.

Screw that.
I am a dreamer. Always have been.
I don’t believe that’s something I should be required to “grow out of” (lest I be “taught a lesson”) or that I need to have my wings clipped just because that’s the status quo.

Remember that, Me.