love fiercely, at all times

ANI DIFRANCO
Oh My My

your body
forshortened below your shoulders
your face so close it’s out of focus
way down the hallway
comes the sound of your shoes
this is when I think about when I think about you

if we let our love off of it’s leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?

your headlights sweepin’
across my ceiling
the breath of my smile
the depth of my feeling
way down in my dark light of shadows
your life with sharp things that glow
this is what I think about when I think about you

if we let our love off of its leash
do you fear like I fear how fierce it would be?

oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my
oh my my

I put this one on my list as a goal but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I do do it… It’s risky business and more often than not results in some sort of suffering on my part. Whether it be a romantic relationship or a platonic one, I give all that I have and am quite obvious about who I am. What you see is what you get and I am far too old to play games. I am intensely loyal which in itself is a fierce love. But sometimes people will le tyou down or you can give and give to get nothing in return. But I can’t seem to find it in me to get bitter ot jaded about it. One just has to lick their wounds, examine their own pain, put it up on the shelf and do it again. The rewwards that are occasionally reaped from “loving fiercely” always outweigh the suffering..

This is something that is a constant goal with me. To love fiercely and to be radically committed to the friendships and the relationships I have been blessed with. I really have high aspirations as to the love I have to offer and it is not because I think I am that great but because I know this love and I just want to reflect that to every person that I meet.

Yes, like I said in my previous entry there are so many types of love: puppy love, twisted love, dangerous love. But there is that breed of love that transcends: true love. True love could be for a lover as well as a friend. Boyfriend or brother. Mother or friend. Here’s my greatest tip to any who want to take this on: consciously want to help your loved ones. Don’t just have fun with them. Even in the bad times ask yourself, is there anywhere else you’d rather be? When the one I love was crying I was hurting because he was and there was a time that I wanted to bolt because emotions frighten me. But then I realized there was no other place I’d rather be then here with him trying my hardest to help him.

I have seen so many types of love. What is it to love fiercely? Is it to cling hopelessly to that person like a dog to its owner? Is it to love that one person with all your might, helping and loving them for their flaws as well as their best parts? Or is it something dangerous? Loving that person so much you must possess them, have them as yours? I will choose that loving fiercely is to love with all your being, accepting a person for all their sides. In that case I do love fiercely. All the time, though? I think I do! I can’t think of everyone all the time but when I do I only feel love. Even the man I used to see as a brother but after an incident while I was drunk complicated things immensely.