not worry about what others think of me

This has been a struggle of mine for some time now.. and it has put such limitations on the way I live my life.

I remember realizing that I had this problem when I was in high School. Even when I knew I shouldn’t, every day I continued to question everything I did, things I said, and the clothes I wore based on what other people did or said.
I lived in fear of judgement from other people, and still partially do. Being in College has helped me a lot just seeing so many people being themselves, and meeting people who are who they are without worrying about how others perceive them.
I want to be like that, I want to be myself.

but necessary.

Last night, at college, I remembered a lot about this goal I have on my list for so much time.
A classmate told me about something that happened at Friday class, after I went out ealier to finish the presentation of Saturday.
A guy that I hate so much (after we have a big fight during a college work and some other moments) was talking about me at the class and some friends deffended me, discussing with him. Everybody was against what he was saying about me.
The funny things is, until yesterday, nobody told me anything about it, as it didn’t happened. I just know through someone who was watching it and thought it was so good to see something being deffended by her friends and the friends din’t told her about it, because the stupid guy isn’t really important.
At the first moment, my desire was to discuss with the stupid guy (at the time, he was near me). But I stopped and think that what he thinks about me never mattered. I have to see the good side of the story: I have wonderful friends. I felt so loved and in clouds :)

i want to know how to stop worriying what others feel about me

I want to break be free and be myself again like the old ryan. carefree, happy and enjoying every second of living on earth but i think way too much now what others think and it causes me great anxiety

I think I just decided one day that I had to stop this conscious feeling about caring the way others would see me. I think I just got really tired of caring all the time and feeling small. It’s an endless cycle, I had to learn to get out of. I needed to find my confidence. I knew I had to gain confidence in order not to care, I look back at it now… and realize that confidence is all that there is. We’re just not confident enough. When we look at the mirror, the way we perceive ourselves: affects everything that we do, say and mostly think. I knew it was unhealthy and not natural to always be so anxious, about the way others looked at me. I was completely ready to get over that phase.

Yet it’s only a phase for those who are fortunate… because for some it might stay with them for the rest of their lives. Would you want to keep doing that? Feeling happy and elated then crappy and moody the next second based on your appearance? Then get rid of all the negativity already! You’ll live better off without it even if it’s just a small step towards being a happier person, that’ll be all worth it in the end.

I’m more positive and content because I know it in myself and no one else has to prove it for me. Try not caring about your looks for one day, it’s much more difficult. But if you keep caring about your appearance: Then you’ll realize it’s not as hard to get by. But do you really want to keep living a superficially? Based on how you’re accepted in society? Then you’re just lying to yourself because you’re hiding the real you. You’re following what everybody else is doing, but of course you want to do it better. Get better clothes, expensive gadgets, flashy shoes and only brand names. If you’re content living that life, then good for you. But when you realize you’re back to feeling sad and unaccepted, you’ll just keep wanting more. Like I said: it was an endless cycle and I had to get out of.

Only you can prove to yourself that you can do this, it’s a confidence thing, not a talent show where people are watching you. Like I said stop caring about the people! Make them fade away into the background already. Because when you think about it, you’re also another background to a person. We’re all going through this, acceptance is important and so is opening your eyes to reality. It might take awhile to do but do it at your own pace… this didn’t happen for anyone over night. I just kind of decided I was sick and tired of it and I’m going to do whatever it takes to get rid of it! It’s like fighting demons in your head.

Don’t worry we’ve all been there and sometimes we still go back. It’s one of those natural things that we’re born with, but too much of it can make us unnatural. So go back to being you. It only gets deeper from here, that’s why I rose from the surface before it was too late. Ever had that feeling that you were being sucked in? Well don’t ignore that intuition, it’s completely right. We’re all being sucked in and not even realizing it.

I noticed that for some people it takes a lot longer and for some only a little while. I took a good 2-3 weeks trying to develop not caring about how others looked at me. It’s a great feeling now that I even practice it. No one can really absolutely perfect it, but you can reach that goal one step at a time. It certainly feels good to have that change in you. Later on you’ll realize that you start looking at others differently too. If you change the way you’re worried consciously, you’ll also change your perspective. I think it’s more challenging for other people because deep inside they still know that they care… but that’s okay! Everyone’s like that and we’re all trying to get over being shallow and judgmental towards ourselves and others. Be accepting of who you are and also learn to accept others for who they are and not what they appear. Let your personality shine through… It’s time that it’s seen and heard after being kept hidden. Don’t be a victim of consciousness anymore, just get out there and not give a care! You’ll truly feel great and happy too :)

It’s weird when you see sometimes your dreams aren’t the best for you. Even when everybody thinks you are living a dream and the best a person can have. It was hard, but I made a decision of giving up. Sometimes it’s the best to be done. It’s better give another step, run to another path than waste energy in something that can be a wrong thing. And it’s hard to see if it’s the case or it’s just a hard way that you have to keep fighting. But, ok, I wasn’t happy, I made a decision, I’m ok if I have to hear people’s options when everybody know what happened and I have to go on. The good news is that will be faster than I could imagine. Great news are already coming and I’m sure I’ll forget the bad moments.

Galatians 1:10
Do you think I am trying to make people acccept me? No, God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ”.

How I would like to be indifferent to what people tell to me at work. I would be so much happy. I’d do what I have to do, do the things I choose and get the consequences. But these consequences is hear many arrogant, annoying and rude words and sometimes I can’t handle with it. I’m trying to keep until the end. I can save more money, get some things I want for so long time and be ok with my mandatory hours in college. One day at a time!!!

it’s amazing!

everyone else consider reading this book:
by Joyce Meyer called “Approval Addiction”

it hits the NAIL on the HEAD with this goal! It’s written about this very topic!

Good luck everyone!