stop hating my father

I made this decision a few years ago and it changed my life.
There is nothing like having my father look at me with the magnitude of love I can see in his eyes that he’s got for me. Just the best feeling.

My MOTHER on the other hand…....

what a rough month its been.. first my dad has a bad episode where he got in a fight with my step mom in front of my sister while he was drunk.. now my sister doesnt want to talk to my dad.. my step mom has moved out and my brother has told him that until he gets help he wants nothing to do with him… i’m the only one he has left.. it kinda sucks.. everyone leaves everything on my sholders, like i have to go in and pick up the pieces after they all leave.. i hate them all right now.. i dont want to be with him alone.. i feel so uncomfortable…. when he crys i want to tell him that his tears are wasted on me… i feel no pity for him because he brought this on himself.. i have cryed so many tears for him that i would never let him see because i knew that he loved himself more than he could ever love my brother, sister or i… my father is the most selfish man i have ever known… i cant deal with him, i dont want to .. its not my responsibility… i’m his child not his parent… he’s supposed to be there for me (which he’s never been) not me always being there for him… why cant i give up on him too?

most likely because i dont give up on anything… i have to see everything through… thats my place in this family… to put everything and everybody back together, where they belong when they have broken…. i just have one question….. who’s gonna pick me up when i fall? or will i forever be broken??

to make this harder and harder. every weekend it’s the same thing..but yet something new at the same time. he tricks us into believing everything’s okay and then it all comes crashing down. and that makes me lose more and more respect for him every time. this is a neverending cycle and i don’t know what to do to stop it. is it all that bad for me to hate him anyways?

My father wouldn’t let me have a relationship with my Mother since I was 3. He hated me and treated me very badly because I looked just like her. Everything he felt towards my Mother when she left was let loose on me. A few times I almost got removed from the home and put in foster care. He even let my brother beat on me. My childhood was filled with violence, contempt and guilt trips. I joined the Marine Corps when I was 17 and now only spend the occasional weekend at home so my family can see my son. I’m almost 24, I secretly hated my Father for probably 15 years before I rationalized that he was probably just doing the best that he could for me and my brothers. He had his own issues that were misdirected on me, but I’ve grown to be strong in mind body and soul because of it. Having gone through what I did as a child made it possible for me to finally leave my abusive husband. Yes, I’ve forgiven my father, but it took a very long time and a sense of pity towards him that replaced my harsher feelings.

gave up forgiving him. cause i can’t forgive him until i don’t hate him anymore. and i don’t know how long that’s going to take. i’m only 16..i still have to live in the same house as him for almost two more years..so stopping hating him isn’t going to be easy. actually, i don’t think it’s EVER going to be easy. i feel no love from him, and i’m sick of having to put my life back together after he goes and f*cks it up. it seems like i’m stuck in this neverending cycle of losing everything and then putting my life back together again. i’m so tired of doing that..but i know that i can’t protect him from himself..like i want to. i don’t want him to have to deal with all the consequences of his actions..but i think i have to let him live his life even if he is ruining mine. i can’t make sense out of anything anymore.

I don’t know what the reasons are for you hating your father, but I stopped hating my mother when I started looking into her life before having me, and seeing why she was what she was. When I could understand her and what she had been through, I could let go of all the negativity and decide that whatever she did to me, she couldn’t change who I was inside, or have power over my life. Unfortunately I can’t really love her as deeply as one ought to but coming to this decision really changed my life. I have a brother that uses her abuse as an excuse for everything that’s gone wrong in his life, so he will never be happy.