Celebrate my small victories

This is actually quite a big victory: I’ve changed my mind set and outlook on life. Namely when it comes to choosing and only wanting quality. This thinking showed up first through my investment choices last week. I’m reading a book about picking stocks and the author makes a damn good argument about only picking the very best ones, which cuts out over 80% of all the stocks out there. This was daunting at first, but then I felt liberated because it means that I only have a few to choose from as opposed to the mammoth amount of stocks out there. It makes all the sense in the world that I should only put my money in the very best places.

And this got me thinking about the rest of my life. Have I always chosen the best relationships, the very best life for myself, and am I the very best person that I can be? From the past perspective, the answer to all three is no. No I didn’t always focus on the best, and many times settled for what was. I like this new way of thinking because it makes everything clear, no ambiguities at all and absolutely no settling for less than best.

I tend to be an extreme person: all or nothing. This goes for reaching my goals too – either I make it or I fail. I rarely recognize the small incremental steps between the start and finish lines. I’m so focused on the finish line that I don’t enjoy the journey, or even see that I’m making progress. I do this with just about everything – relationships, money and work. This new goal is to challenge this thought pattern in me.

I read an article about this very topic where the writer equated life to golf. Lots of people go through life looking for the hole-in-one’s, only seeing that as the goal. But a golfer can get a hole-in-one and still lose, while getting it consistently onto the green can win them the game.

A few people have told me that I have an all or nothing mentality, but I didn’t really get what they were saying until this article. Even though I don’t play golf, somehow this analogy clicked for me. And it was a big relief when I decided to celebrate my small victories because it means not having to aim for the sky every time. And because the small victories are reachable, every step forward and upward gets me further along. Life is filled with small victories. By celebrating these I’d have more fun reaching the finish line and getting a hole-in-one would be the icing.