talk to trees

what would steve say to me?

I was just interested, because a few people have been planting a tree… take the time out of your buisy schedule… and wonder… what would a tree say to me? So i devised this little scheme to tell you what i think a tree would say. My tree’s name is going to be… “Tree #1: Steve-
So our character walks over and sits by a tree out in a parkinglot… yeah a parking lot.

Tree #1: Steve says. Yo, what up kid?

Character What the fuck dude did you just talk to me?

Tree #1: Steve Yeah… dude, i said yo, what up?

Character- Ahh fuck! i think i’m loosing it?

Tree #1: Steve nah man, I’m just talking to you is all, so what’s been up? I can’t really move so… you could only imagine how fucking bored i am.

character Oh god, oh god, i think i’m tripping out! am i tripping out

Tree #1: Steve Yo, kid, shut the fuck up, and tell me what’s up. Am i asking to much, look at me when i’m talking to you, i know i don’t have eyes… i’m a fucking tree for oaks sake, but i can see you, i see everything. evvveeerrryyything.

Our character begins pacing back and forth wondering if he’d been doing acid or eating too many mushrooms.

Tree #1: Steve Yo dude, seriously? If you don’t chilllax, you know what i’m going to do? I’m going to kill you, alright so sit down man, peace it with me for a sec, playa.

character fucking tree is going to kill me

Tree #1: Steve yeah bro, that’s what i said, yo… kid, chill, relax, chilllax okay?

Character oh god oh god if my mom finds out i’ve been doing drugs…

Tree #1: Steve… Dude, seriously?

the character keeps pacing back and forth, then there is a crack, the tree falls on the character. No one is within miles, and the kid suffocates, all the while screaming about a pschotic tree, does this make a sound?

Yes they do.

They don’t talk back!!