let go and let God

I’m afraid.

I am afraid to admit that I know that I am on the wrong path, and I am afraid to come back towards the light…for I know that I will have to put all of my pride away and trust blindly in the Lord.

I am afraid to let go and let God.

yet I know that is what hy heart is truley aching for

I am having a really hard time letting go. Letting my anger go. Letting my disappointments go. Letting people go. And letting my heart have an opportunity to heal itself. I’m having a hard time forgiving people. I’m having a hard time not taking action- when I know- I KNOW- it just needs to be let go. I’m having a hard time trusting (which is my biggest problem) that God will take care of this in his time. I don’t need to do anything. I don’t need to expect anything. I don’t need to fix this- and yet I want to. I want God to fix it now- because I’m afraid, in my impatience, I’ll do something impulsive- and stupid- and screw things up more than I already have.

How do I let go? How do I let go of them? How do I let go? I’m so surprised how mad I am. How hurt I am. How much I want to run away. How much I want to cry. And why I can’t? And I don’t know when God is going to finally step in. I’m waiting. I’m not doing anything- it’s God’s turn. And I’m tired.

i had been praying for the Holy Spirit. but i was not feeling anything different. (yeah, i don;t know why we expect it will be like a new mind in ours, and not a filter or a glow to what was there)
i was reading the Bible a lot, and still am, for the first time, and My Utmost For His Highest. these led me to the revelation that i was still having my what ifs? and the luxury of questioning. i had not surrendered my will to His. and we’ve seen where my will has taken me, lately (though it had seemed what came before, what was happy-so startlingly joyful-, was HIS will)...
i tried living one day thinking Jesus, guide me, where are we going? and it was the first day i did not cry at all in a month.
but, like all things, i must try and fail and try and fail and try and triumph and try and fail…just keep trying because it isn’t like a perfection everyday:like love, like faith, it is a choice.

A huge source of peace. So glad I have this on my list now. I have so many things to hand over to God. I just don’t know how. So I say the serenity prayer every day, and I pray for peace. One day maybe everything that is plaguing me will no longer feel like it is weighing only upon my shoulders. I know it doesn’t, but it feels that way some days.

this should sum it up: i need to be humble and recognize i’m in His hands, His will be done. and trust He knows my heart, and my needs and this is all happening for a reason: to strengthen me for His purposes, make me grow in spirit and love, to appreciate better what will follow, and to fit His design…He knows me and wants to bless; I must let go of what I am desperately trying to grab back and open my hands to receive. in His time, and He has such vast time though! i must be patient and try better to live calmly, unbothered by the externals i cannot control, and focus on grace and kindness and one foot in front of the other, instead of the scared, compulsions i have been undertaking which only set me back and hurt me more.

is, without a doubt, my path. And I plan to have loads and loads and loads of fun with this. To me, life has been too serious in the past, but nwt I intend to savor the unfolding of my precious life and to do so with joy and happiness.

I found this website because someone came to my website from it. I need to spend more time and figure it all out….but I wanted to tell those of you who “let go and let God” that you might enjoy my website…lots to offer on this subject and adding more all the time.

If I can be of help to anyone….this is my passion and purpose.

www.isurrenderthis.com

I’ve tried for so long to make my own peace by being what I thought everyone else wanted me to be and doing what others wanted me to do. Today I received a very poignant message from God that was perfectly timed (as God always does). I’m letting go of things that continuously hold me back and allowing God to navigate my life and my role in this world so that I can do what He wants me to do.

This has been hard for me. I’m a person who’s always liked to be very much in control of myself and my situation. It hasn’t been working for me lately, so now I think it’s time to just let go and let God to the work.

I’m trying, on a day to day basis, to just get out of the way and let the chips fall where they may. Fortunately, I have a few friends who are trying to do the same thing. It’s okay if I don’t always get it right, this is all about progress, and not perfection.