be less judgmental

I need to do this, Like really, I judge people so much, and Im just like stop, what the hell are u saying?? And the reason I do this is because im like get them, before they get u, and in actuality that person ur judging turns out to be the most amazing person u have meet in years!!! I have to stop, no matter what, right?

the hardest thing! it’s human nature to judge on appearances at a first glance. it’s like. defensive mechanism or something? I wish i didn’t do it….

I’m 28 and my parents think they lived their lives perfectly (got married at the right time, saved money, etc.) and they are very judgmental of myself and my sister and my brother.

My parents think all three of us should live our lives exactly the way they did. It’s great they are so happy with the choices they made, but I want to live my own life – even if I’m not happy with all the choices I made.

My parents think there is something wrong with all of us: I live with my boyfriend of several years and we are not married and don’t have kids; my brother and his wife are overweight and have a messy house but they are very happy; my sister and her husband are very poor and keep having lots of kids anyway, but I think they are happy, too.

But my parents are so judgmental – I hate my job and they criticize me for not getting one I like better – but it’s not so easy. They criticize my boyfriend because he is trying to start his own business, which I believe he will be successful at. I love that I can give him this chance.

My point is that I am trying to unlearn the habits they passed on to me to be so judgmental … it’s not easy! I am looking for some advice.

I suppose some people might take time with the family to be practice for this goal. Instead, I was just a complete failure.

people are judgmental because they are terrified of being judged them selves. I know because I do this.

I hate the fact that I am so judgmental of people. I try not to be, and have an open mind, but i just find myself naturally putting people into categories, and not allowing myself to get to know them. There are so many amazing people out there that I will never fully get to meet because I am so judgmental.
Although I distance myself from these people, sometimes I choose not to associate with them altogether, and this is something I must fix.

Yup

this is an on going goal. sometimes it is easy to accept things and people but other times i suprise myself with my negative thoughts…

there are good sides to being judgemental: you have fun and you have a different outlook on life.i usually don’t feel bad about being judgemental because it sets me apart from the sheep-ish people that roam the earth and it’s part of my personality. i start having second thoughts when i realise i probably don’t have that many friends because i’m pessimistic, negative and judgemental most of the time and then i feel like shit. i feel i should change my attitude because it keeps people away.

I don’t judge people because I am critical of them, I do it automatically. I don’t do it because I want to, it is more of a reaction.

It is something that I want to put to an end. It is not fair to people, and my judgments are completely unfounded. Judging a person by their appearance is wrong. It has nothing to do with what they think or who they are. It is not fair to assume something about a person based on what they look like. Associations and stereotypes are wrong.

It is something that I really dislike about myself. I wish I didn’t do it. It is a reaction for my, like showing me flash cards in rapid succession, it’s the first thing that comes to mind. I don’t like it and I plan to change it.

Try not to judge people. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to you when they do it to you.

Eric :)