look up when I walk

i want to look up while i walk because it shows security and confidence and even though i don’t have either of those i don’t want people to know im not confident…

I’ve realized that it’s only HERE that I have problems with looking up. I will not achieve this goal as long as I still live in this neighborhood. But in other neighborhoods, or even in the tough neighborhoods of other cities, I’m doing okay – thanks to contact lenses, natural curiosity, happiness, carelessness. I never like when people stare and I don’t know where to look or how to react when they do (mostly I just scowl, how nice) – but that’s bearable. So I will blame this on my neighborhood and say goodbye to this goal. And to this neighborhood soon, hopefully!

Well, I’m not looking down anymore… I’m staring into space/the distance (works better now that I have contact lenses). Berliners will be Berliners – but I try not to care so much. Headphones and great music also help.

yesterday i stepped into a bubblegum that stuck to my converse ¬¬

People in this city. Just why is it that they are staring so much? Why must Berliners be so rude in every walk of life – well, or those who live around here? I constantly avert my eyes. General feeling of insecurity right now, hope it passes.

Hm, contact lenses help. I’m getting better at this. But in the winter, with the city so dark and everyone hidden away in big coats and scarves, you don’t really see people’s faces anyway ;-)

its just walking

In my neighborhood, people, especially men, will get the wrong idea if you walk around with a too happy and open face and happen to meet their gaze. Some will practice their stare on you and not even avert their eyes when you catch them doing it. Last but not least, the streets are very dirty so it does make sense to watch one’s feet.
I’ve been living around here for seven years now and have really come to internalize this “law”, but I’m so fed up with it, and I’m making a resolution to be look up when I walk and to ignore the stares and whistles!
As for stepping onto dirt, well that’s just a chance I have to take ;-)

I always do this when I walk, and I walk alot, just for pleasure.

People think you’re wierd to be looking all around instead of averting eye contact, but I don’t mind, and neither should you.

The important thing is that it lets you examine the details and beauty of the world around you, and all the care and thought that goes into all the things we see and hear and smell.

To touch the walls and flowers and lamposts as you walk and embrace the weather is great.

WORTH DOING.

I’ve stopped doing this subconsciously. I’ll probably still do it occasionally, but definitely not as much as I used to – constantly.