A Girl in the Curl is tired of dealing with the insurance company, and the State & County
Option one: If UCSF makes me an offer, take it, get out of my current ICU and stay in San Francisco. This of course has the sad outcome of losing my spot in the CRNA program, and means that I may never get into another program—because I would have to gather letters of reference from WOMEN supervisors, (can’t even think about trying to get that from my current supervisor, she’d likely die of laughter she hates me so much) and with the extra time elapsing between my prereq classes and returning to school, I’d likely have to retake some of those classes (like advanced chem, and statistics and physics…not easy courses)
Applications themeslves are daunting and time-consuming (not to mention expensive) so I’m fearing that to not go bck to New York is to say “I’m not goiing to do anesthesia.”
It’s been a goal for so long, that without it on the horizon, I’m lost. what else would I do? Where would I go? I can’t stand the thought of bedside care for eternity…my back can’t take it, it’s very stressful and the hours are wearing me down even now.
There’s a slight possibility that after (maybe a few/several) years at UCSF they’d help with graduate school, but what would I specialize in? I’d be a Nurse Practitioner…one of those white-coats who just read charts and prescribe…can I bear the thought of this? My real interest lies in Anesthesia…should I settle for less? If I say no, the answer is to lower my eyes, my head, bend over and get spanked by the jerks at Columbia, who will control me for the next two years of my life.
If they decide that I’ve borrowed six figures and need to be kicked out of the program for being “difficult” they can do it…and I’d be stuck with no way to repay the loans.
Talk about a rock and a hard place.
