Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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1,942 people want to do this. 1 person has this New Year's resolution.

Beat my depression

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lemonwaterVictim-like thinking

I have been in a frame of mind where things appear to me to be set up to cause me to fail. Past week has been very hard. So, dear Victim card, I’m going to have to turn you in. You no longer serve me. 1 week ago

lemonwaterFor no reason

I am feeling depressed, anxious, and nauseous for no reason. I have been trying to plump myself up by looking at pictures of Gigi Buffon, who is my favorite player. I find all the emotion displayed in soccer to be very funny. Possibly in this photo #1 is looking at some play gone wrong. 3 weeks ago

ccardlin 4 weeks ago

LipglossKiller 16 months ago


I am disappointed that 43t will not be around anymore after Aug 15. I liked making posts about my goals and reading others’ progress or struggles with their goals. I struggle with depression and anxiety and I do think 43t has helped me. I wonder if there is another place (tumblr? instagram? not facebook) where we can meet similar people but still be anonymous and speak freely. 4 weeks ago


what a confusing life.

i come to this goal on 43t to feel less alone in this fight, but since i found out about the site closing, i reluctantly click the link in my bookmarks expecting to find a 404 error in place of the small comfort i find in the community of others with depression. sad.

i just read through all six years of my past entries in this goal. i don’t know what i was hoping for, maybe some sign of improvement over the years, but no such luck. just a log of unending hurt. i’m very sad, always.

here’s to all of you other 43thingers fighting any sort of uphill battle. though i will no longer get to share with all of you or receive your support and cheers, i hope that each of us can find some relief in another form. 4 weeks ago

lemonwater-1 to +1

My mood has been in the middle more days than not, like between -1 and +1 with -5 being worst and +5 being best. At least not feeling like a train wreck right now. I guess if I were in a train wreck, I’d be dead, or maimed, and I’d just have to focus on getting better. 1 month ago


I’ve been eating clean for the past two months. Entirely healthy, homemade food. Stopped drinking except for the occasional glass of wine with dinner. Work out five times a week, give or take. Sleeping as consistently as I can help.

This is what I like to do. This is what I need to do. It helps.

Saturday night we went to a party. And I drank. And drank. And did not stop. Quite literally, almost accidentally killed myself.

Two days later i am still sick.
Why can’t I stop this?
I’m more upset that I hurt him than anything else. More upset that I keep hurting him because of this. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s wonderful and beautiful and caring and understanding beyond belief. He deserves better than this.

I promised him I would stop. Maybe if it’s for him, not for me, I can do it. 1 month ago

Amarete 4 years ago

DracoStill not dead.

OK. Maybe not the “best” title for an update entry… but knowing how dismal some of my entries have been through my road to recovery here, I just want everyone to know (albeit bluntly) that I am still alive and well.

Still living on my own, and yes, still using the library computers for my Internet (no, I don’t have a laptop and I can’t get to 43T on my phone). So, once again, sorry for the infrequent posts. Not a whole lot has changed since I last stopped by.

My depression has diminished tremendously over the past twelve months. I’ve been doing a lot better since I fired my therapist when he told me the reason I wasn’t being hired to be a parole officer is because I come off as “too gay” and should try to sound more “straight.” I was appalled. It is extremely empowering to fire your therapist—not saying he did not help me at all—but the empowerment is knowing when it is legitimately time to stop taking other people’s advice and trusting that you are healthy enough to begin following your own.

Speaking of my pursuit of a job with the state department of parole, yesterday I found out I am still being considered and have been moved to the next stage of the hiring process: the background investigation. There is an “investigator” who is working with me to collect information about my background, family, and former coworkers. I’m not worried. Whether I get the job or not, is not really within my control after all. All I can do is be open and honest. I have nothing to hide. That is the definition of confidence, to me anyway.

I’ve stopped putting my hope and faith and dependence on the idea of finding any one employment position. Currently I work two jobs to make ends meet. I am doing all right financially, but my youthful and naive perceptions of the adult world and economy are long gone; I have learned to lower expectations, be realistic and content with anything I get that can at least kind of pay the bills. The excitement I used to feel when getting called for an interview has died, and attempts for higher paying employment have become normal and routine, along with the belief that something will eventually come along.

I realize I am more mature than I have ever been at any time in my life. I have become wise. I have gone through enough trials and tribulations, enough depression and hopelessness, and come out on the other side as an independent young adult with a stable mind and confident self-image. I have reached a point in my life where encountering people who do not like me because of what I am (a gay man) is no longer a shock or outrage—it is just a reality I have learned to cope with, and previous experiences have given me the tools. I have dealt with peers at school rejecting me, my own mother rejecting me, the community not supporting me, and have watched as the national and state government have slowly begun to allow homosexual couples some equal rights. If there is one thing I’ve learned to wholeheartedly and fluently ACCEPT, it’s being misunderstood, despised, feared, loathed, and challenged. I expect it. All of those things are terrifying prospects to a young gay teenager who is just realizing he is gay. How overwhelming it is, and how hopeless it must seem, to consider those plights at the first awareness of one’s own homosexual identity. I don’t blame anyone, including myself, for having experienced suicidal thoughts and depression when emerging as a young gay person without any support system.

After all I have gone through, I now have confidence that I can overcome anything that comes my way. Nobody can break me, and anymore, nobody can frighten me or make me feel bad about myself. At times it seems absurd to do anything less than love all of who I am, because I realize now that I need to be my own protector. I need to be unafraid, and face the world bravely. I need to stand up for myself in the event nobody else will. My mother taught me that, when she did not stand up for her child. I’ve finally been able to heal from those phases in my young life. I am a survivor. 1 month ago

strangelings 1 month ago



Gho-s-t 4 years ago

aliise 2 years ago

triiiinu 1 month ago

Eden 幻想

Eden 幻想 3 years ago

♥loverr girrl♥went back on my meds again

facing stressful situation. had to go back on them. 2 months ago


I was on the verge of checking myself back into the hospital the day after my last post. I was overcome with a sort of hysterical depression. But ultimately I decided against the hospital and was granted a two week leave of absence by my boss, who is so very understanding and helpful.

The time off helped. Last week was my first week back and it went really well, but I got super anxious and sad yesterday afternoon and it carried over into today, lots of crying. Before work this morning I got online to seek support here on 43 Things and saw almost immediately the rumors/news about the site shutting down. This made me much more sad. I don’t like to think about losing this community, I’ve been using the site for years.

Then at lunch my psychiatrist’s office called to tell me my appointment for this afternoon had been cancelled. I had been waiting patiently to talk to her about my recent crash – she has limited availability – and to discuss whether my recent med changes are to blame, so I’m pretty upset that I have to wait even longer in this pit to be able to change anything.

Then right after lunch, my boss told me she’s quitting. This is terrible news, she’s a wonderfully compassionate person and a fantastic boss, I am not looking forward to losing a superior who has been so understanding of my mental illness. This caused me to cry for pretty much the rest of my work day.

Feeling deflated.

Just copied and pasted all my entries from this goal into a document to save. 2 months ago

salsera01 2 months ago


There is something deep down, constantly trying to float up to the surface, and it cant. You cant really identify what exactly it is, sometimes it is an old memory, suppressed tears, screams, questions. It is pretty annoying and it keeps buzzing you every once in a while.

You write, cry, ignore, seek distractions, you just dont know what to do.


I have like set with myself, ensuring to myself how ridiculous the matter is, and that I should just simply start to ignore thinking about those things/experiences/events/people that irritated me in the past….But no one ever say that it would be this haaaaaaaaaard.

What’s wrong with me? What do you call it when you have that constant urgent desire to scream your lungs out! and to just have the less interaction with people as possible as you can? And why the old beautiful things dont mean a lot to me now as they used to? Two days ago I was staring at an old vision board, where i have visualized my dreams and written about them with colorful pens and doodles…I made it three years ago and hung it to my closet. Now wonder where that old version of me who made that board passionately have gone? 2 months ago


many say that i have a great life (and i’m conscious that it’s true), but sometimes i can’t help feeling bad for no reason. i don’t feel happy / content for what i have, and what i do. i don’t bother smiling to my girlfriend, calling a friend just to talk about nothing, appreciating a show that’s happening before my eyes. i feel like i’d rather stay home and do some programming. i’m not sure whether or not this “depression” is a way to achieve something important with my programming, if it’s a kind of procastination from living in the real world. i don’t know if i should embrace my introversion, of i should make some effort pretending to like what most people do: hanging out with people, even for doing nothing significant. 2 months ago

roly 2 months ago

Dia Ventrelli 8 years ago


I feel reluctant to post anything now, because, what’s the point? If the site is shutting down, why bother?
I do feel sorry for some people who don’t post often. How will they know what happened? 2 months ago

brontaleah 4 years ago

danidee27May 2014

Trying to stay afloat.
I’m hopeful, but hope is all.
Very alone and I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s not easy. I’m fighting the urge to just sit back and let it be, to wallow. That’s not what I want, but it would be all to easy.
I don’t like change. I don’t like the unknown. There’s a lot of it in my life right now.
Need to get back to my happiness goal. 2 months ago

Meridia 21 months ago


Yesterday was really bad. I didn’t want to be alive. Total existential crisis. Couldn’t calm down, really needed some reassurance.

And then my husband told me he wasn’t happy with me anymore and that he thought we should end it. It shocked me. I knew that he was under a lot of stress because of me, but I had no idea that he would so readily consider ending our marriage.

I tried to stay as calm as I could so that the conversation wouldn’t end there. We talked a lot more, luckily.

He admitted that it was a moment of extreme frustration for him rather than discontent with me or our relationship and that he wouldn’t give up on me as long as I wouldn’t give up either. I do have to admit that at times it appears that I give up on myself. Though I have no history of self-harm or suicide attempts, so I think that’s a good sign. Anyway, I promised to actively put in more effort to my own mental health and the health of our relationship.

I think of myself as a person who really tries to take his experience with me into consideration. As it is, I try to shield him from some of my more severe thoughts and when I can tell he’s particularly burnt out from my depression I try to insist that he go out with friends or find something to do that he enjoys or find someone he can openly talk to about his stress.

So I guess I will just have to double those efforts.

We have a lot to talk about still, and I think we’ll try counseling together. I just can’t shake the feeling that I will always be on the verge of losing him for good due to things that are largely out of my control.

I feel I may start sharing even less of my struggle with my life partner and best friend, and I wish it didn’t have to be that way. 2 months ago

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