i told someone that they’re judgmental and they should be happy that i’m happy. i’m not going to give it any more attention or thought than that.
i also candidly let an old friend know that i didn’t want to keep contact anymore because it was turning into a one way relationship. 5 months ago
but not as much.
one guy. does me in.
i will get this righted. karma works. 5 months ago
ready for another showdown with a group that always get the best of me
NOT THIS TIME GUYS! NOT THIS TIME. 10 months ago
How I did it: I had a co-worker sit there and bash me saying all types of nasty things to me. I have had issues with her before I decided to put it in my own hands since no one else would. Read how I did it… 11 months ago
Just talked to a person from the job centre who has been pushy about getting me to take a job that doesn’t suit me (I have some special needs). I finally agreed but have now ended up feeling manipulated into it and unsatisfied with my days, which makes me depressed. I noticed that I started to feel passive aggressive towards co-workers and my tasks, and I had a big lump in my gut every morning and felt like crying several times during the day. That’s when I realized what had happened (again). See, when I feel like I know what people want from me—I will act that way even if I don’t agree with it because I feel pressured to not be “difficult” or make things awkward by saying what I really think and feel. I’m a pushover that way. I’m not always like that, but when I’m uncomfortable or insecure. In this case, it was because I was worried that if I didn’t “cooperate” enough, I’d get in trouble financially as well as being disliked by this person. I have a wonderful job coach, but this was another person who was supposed to be of extra help to me. (Yeah, that worked out great.)
Anyway, I called and told this person flat out that I was upset with them for pressuring me into that job and that I wasn’t okay with it and I was unhappy. I raised my voice a little. I cried a lot. But it’s fine. I have to learn to do these things, and at first it’s going to be emotional because I’ve put it off and the pain has had time to grow, but it’ll get better the more I practise and the sooner I am able to break the pattern. My goal is to be able to nip these things right in the bud. I’m glad I did stand up for myself (even if it was about a month late). And this person was kind of defensive about it more than anything else, but I didn’t really expect any better. Typical pushy people. Taking no responsibility at all for shamelessly disregarding what feelings and thoughts another person is trying to express. But that’s fine. I have to learn to stand up for myself so that people can’t keep walking all over me, I don’t have to make these people change their minds about how they act. And I feel better now that I’ve been honest and direct.
Edit: Oh, and I don’t have to go back to that job now. I also said I did not want any more “help” from this particular person. I have a guidance counselor meeting on Wednesday (thanks to my wonderful job coach), I’m going to focus completely on getting into school now instead of continuing to have to work different crap jobs. Huge relief. 19 months ago
There’s this incredibly hot guy who wants to be my FWB. But I’ve decided I really don’t want to do hookups right now, so I talked to him in person about it. I hate disappointing people, even when it’s completely justified. He kept insisting that I should “stop thinking” and “just have fun,” etc. even while I was telling him, with the most firmness I could manage (very little), that I wasn’t sure I wanted to hook up. He was sooo pushy.. that made it easier to reject him because it was such a turn-off. I’m glad I stood up to him. It was hard to leave him disappointed, but of course, it’s not my duty to satisfy pushy, ungrateful men. :P 19 months ago
...it all kind of started when my friend (who I had invited to the opening party of their new business b/c her office was nearby a couple of years ago) decided to include their business in a prime city guide that’s affiliated with Louis Vuitton and target at a similar clientele b/c she thought it would, liked it & well knew it b/c I invited her there once. My friend is actually a journalist & not a specialist concerning this area of business but took the job of doing the guide-book-job for the money & was glad to start w/ a business she is familiar with. Long story short, since I told my bosses about the inclusion in this prime guide book (something that I’m sure will being some good customers their way when it’s out) which comes at a time of business not being that good for a while…instead of happiness or kind words or some other form of appreciation or whatever…I was asked to do XY & Z and had to stay longer than I get paid for the day of me telling them…the good news as I thought. And a few days later my product photography that I do for them with my own personal equipment out of my own initiative (that has been liked & used by their clients happily) is suddenly not good enough anymore & my colleague who has no ambition, no real photography equipment & no eye (IMHO) is suddenly asked to do the product photography instead of. Which hurt me very much actually as this segment of my job is really my pride & joy. And yesterday, when they were visiting & I was busy as hell with customers, they were all standing there drinking Prosecco…chatting & watching me handle everything by myself when I could have really used a hand by my superior. And then they left without saying good bye…actually the female owner did very briefly wave from a far distance. So what am I supposed to make of this? I really don’t know. All I know is that I don’t like it and that I’m feeling quite angry and treated unfairly. This just doesn’t seem right to me. The question is, what will I do about it? 19 months ago
to stand up for yourself; sometimes you have to let people make fun of you or annoy you and learn to ignore it. I think my tendency to ignore these things (or appear to) is one of my strengths, but also one of my greatest weaknesses. 20 months ago
this very second, I am doing the opposite of standing up for myself.
I’m staying with him.
why? 20 months ago