Be incandescently happy

and more hopeful every day. Today, it smelled like the first day of spring here. I made a new friend, a smart interesting Swiss art historian, and also new daily life-organizing plan that should help me work better. An anonymous referee for a book manuscript called my article in it “original” and “of exceptional quality.” And, some other stuff that’s the most hope-inspiring of all.

Maybe it was also being ickily ill last weekend, and having to cancel all the fun stuff that was planned. There’s nothing like a forced sofa-rest for making one appreciate life. I’m almost afraid to say it… but, I’m happy.

Not half bad, this.

You can’t plan for it. But maybe you can do things towards stumbling on it. (I’m basically just looking for an excuse to say ‘road trip’ again.)

silly and wonderful soundtrack my iPod shuffled to my walk to the library this beautiful, sunny morning:
Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush;
Dreams by The Cranberries and
St. Elmo’s Fire by John Parr.

I hope my _{possibly more than} half-audible “It’s me, it’s Kat-hy, I’ve come home now”s, my “You have my heart so don’t hurt me’s” and my “You-broke-the-boy-in-me, but you-won’t-break-the-man, WUH!“s didn’t scare too many passers-by. I haven’t gotten the ululations in the Cranberries song quite down pat yet. But, oh, what a glorious song it is, and how happy I am to find myself in a library again!

happy. It’s been a while. And it’s an excellently excellent feeling.

Wow.

this mocking, cruel goal.

But I still don’t want to give up on it.

But it’s truly what I want. I want to be able to shine, and I want to be in a relationship in which we can shine together. I want to love someone in a way that helps us both shine, and be better, and grow, and be incandescently happy.