Be confident about the choices I make in my life

I would like to go through my life always changing my environment, my friends, and my career. But I’m just nervous about what other people will think and whether I can hold my confidence.

I wish I could just relax more and just live for the moment, but fear always sets in.

Fear of going broke is at the top of the list.

Today I am feeling as if I’m getting back into my element. I did some serious thinking before getting out of bed this morning. I got some clarity, made some decisions. Today is a new day filled with opportunities.

This morning I was taking my mom to the gym as my guest. When we arrived, I was told that I could not bring my guest in for free because I only have a basic membership. In order for her to come in, I would either have to pay $20 (each day she comes with me) or upgrade to the deluxe membership, which would double my monthly fee. I decided to leave because I was irritated, but my mother wanted to sit and watch me work out. Because I did not say that I was irritated we went back-and-forth on the issue. I might also add that she stated she would stay and wait for me, but did not mention that she wanted to see my routine. I dug my heels in and we left. Once we got to the car, she let me have it for trying to change her mind, while I was annoyed because I felt she was trying to change mine. We both should have communicated better so we could understand why the other person was insisting on having things their way. Actually, I was already worked up because I spent the earlier part of the morning meditating on how my mother always tries to change my mind while saying she is not trying to interfere with my decisions. She has overwhelmed me for so long that I am not quite sure if I should have given in or not.

Whether big or small – every day is all about decisions. Why is it that even making the smallest decision can be the hardest thing in the world to do? When I can finally achieve it I feel like I made an accomplishment. Not to feel pressured to make a decision at all is also important. It all comes back to prioritizing what is the most important to me or you. Sometimes its ok to put it all on hold. Hey – nobody said life is easy – so I guess what I’m really trying to say to myself and everyone out there is just “chill out!” And when I’m ready to move on with a decision whatever it may be, I will know it and so will all of you:)

I want to feel settled about the decisions I make. I’m just not sure what I’m doing anymore.

I thought I knew my passions and purpose in life, but it just isn’t there anymore. I want to feel positive about my choices again.

Basically I had to have lots of patience and wait until the results start to happen. Then I felt confident about my choices. My life is so much happier and better now.

I have come to a point where I feel like I can do anything I want and not have to worry about what someone thinks. Yes I am working two jobs and going to school. Thats my choice and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Refer to Jonathan Larson’s RENT to descrie my atitude for this:

“Forget
Regret.
Or life is yours to miss.
No other road
No other way
No Day but today”

One opurtunity
One chance
To do anything
And regretting it
Will do nothing
But uipset the stomach.

Believe in everything you do
Even the mistakes
As learnming expierences

But always
ALWAYS
Trust the instinct
And believe
In yourself
And personal decision.

See this goal. =)

It’s weird. It’s like I’m afraid of taking the steps to gaining that confidence. Maybe I’m lazy. Or maybe I just like to intellectualise myself as justifying the lack of confidence as influenced by the difficulties of the situations causing me the lack of confidence.

Isn’t that a really dumb sentence to write? I got confused several times just writing it. I’m scared of action is what it is.