believe in love

Now, it seems easy…

I am done giving my energy to those that don’t deserve it. I deserve healthy, wholesome, fulfilling, unbelievable love.

Paul makes it easy for me to believe. He’s so genuine and good…it scares me so much to think I have him and yet he could be in someone else’s arms someday. He does so much for me, and I always try to make sure he knows I don’t take him for granted. We’ve only been dating for five weeks, but I’ve known him for much longer, which makes this transition easy and funny.
I love that he’s my best friend, but also my love.

look where it’s gotten me…
absolutely NO-WHERE!

I’ve begun a relationship. With one of my friends. I know, I know, a relationship with a friend! But it’s not like we’ve been friends for forever, actually, we’ve been hanging out for about two months and he asked me a week ago to be with him, and I adore it. He is unbelievably kind, sweet, adorable, funny, considerate…I could really continue if you pressed me.

I slept at his apartment Friday and Saturday night, and yesterday when I woke up, I felt so different, I had this feeling that echoed throughout my body that I couldn’t place because I’ve never felt it before. Now, it might be too soon to be love, but there’s some part of me that thinks I could be falling in love…

And not let go.

“i look at you and i see my best friend. your energy and your passion inspire me in ways that i never thought possible. your inner beauty is so strong that i no longer fear being myself. i no longer fear at all. i never thought that i could find someone to love that would love me back unconditionally. and then i realized that, although we are often apart, you are always with me. you are my soul mate. you give me purpose when i feel i have none. without you my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete. i thank god every day that you were brought into my life. and i thank you for loving me.”

so here’s the thing about you. you get it. you understand. no explanations. no coverups. no lies. just truth. you make me happier than i have ever been in my life. you make me feel complete. like even though i have no idea where i am headed, you are there to take my hand and guide me through whatever i may get myself into. you have taught me what it means to be alive. what it means to live. what it means to feel, again. i look at you and i see love. i touch you and i feel love. i listen to you speak and i hear love. there is no one that can ever compare to you. i have never felt more loved in my life. never felt more special. never felt more whole. but the thing about you is that you are honest. you tell me when i am out of line. you tell me when i am being irrational. but you also tell me how wonderful i am. how amazing i am. how much you care. and i thank god every single day that you were brought into my life. and i thank god i am finally able to love you back.. whole-ly.

I’m getting there…

and not be so scared.

I fell in love out of nowhere too. It was a match made in heaven, or Shakespeare’s plays. Then some stuff happened and I almost stoped believing, but I made it through and am now blissfuly head over heels in love.