Celebrate the life of my dear friend, Mark

I know I have mentioned music before but every single day I hear songs which we both used to love and I talk to him and ask if he remembered dancing to this song – or else I hear new tracks I think he would like and ask him what he thinks? Music is an amazing medium and it brings people together and has united the world for a few hours here and there, through global concerts etc. I love music with such a passion and so did Mark. No, I will say ‘so DOES Mark!’ I know he hasn’t gone, and I feel him around me and I switch on the radio and so many times it is a song which was special to us playing. He most definitely shared the soundtrack of my life for many years and will never stop doing so…

Today, July 26th, is Mark’s 46th birthday. He was only a few months younger than me and we went through school together. Every birthday we would go out for a meal and a drink and celebrate together until we moved away from each other and lived different lives. I hope he is having a wonderful birthday on the other side and that he knows we are all thinking of him with much love ‘down here’. Happy Birthday to you, Mark. This will always be a really special day for me.

Mark and I had a brilliant holiday on the island of Jersey back in 1983. I remember him sitting for ages on a rock watching the sun go down as he wanted to capture it on film. He was always looking for beauty, always searching. Sunsets will always remind me of Mark – as well as a trillion other things!

I have been feeling so sad over the past few weeks since Mark died. Things got a bit more complicated and it seems he may not have died of a heart attack -that was just the assumption his family made as he had been dead for over a week when he was found and it wasn’t possible to do certain tests on him. The inquest isn’t till the end of October either. Maybe we will never know really what happened. I feel so sad that he was there on his own, that he lived the kind of life where he could be dead for that long before he was found. I know that now he is free of all the angst he had in life and I hope his spirit is soaring, and I hope that those of us who love him can find some peace soon too.

One of Mark’s real passions was music and he was one of the few guys in my life who had the same taste in music as me! We used to go to clubs and dance for hours, or listen to albums in one of our homes. We went to see so many bands in the 80’s – The Eurythmics, The Police, The Undertones, Orchestral Manoevres in the Dark, Big Country…..there are so many songs that make me think of him. I must hear at least one every day.
I hope he is up there still dancing and enjoying music every day….

Here is the lovely man himself – this photo was taken about twenty years ago but he had hardly changed at all. He had a real passion for motorbikes and this photo was taken on a trip to France.

Mark was at school with me, we started dating when we were 15, but that didn’t last for too long and we decided we made better friends. We went through so much teenage angst together, went on trips together, shared the same taste in music, went to clubs and danced for hours, talked for hours, and even though we moved humdreds of miles apart as adults we never lost touch as our lives took us in different directions.

This week I found out that he had died, suddenly of a heart attack, at the age of 45. He was fit and healthy and hadn’t been ill. Yet here I am, overweight, high blood pressure and with years of eating dsorders and abusing my poor body behind me. It doesn’t make sense.

His funeral is on Wednesday and I still can’t believe I am going to the funeral of someone I feel I have known for all of my life. He is woven into my life in so many ways and I want to celebrate that fact and remember that for 45 years he LIVED and not focus on the fact that he has died.

Mark, I love you, you will always be special to me and I hope that you know that, wherever you are….