not feel weird about the past

so i think i took a HUGE stepbackwards with some recent events in my life.
however – really i think i’m only not okay with things because i know that my exboyfriend willprobably never let them go.
so long as hes not part of my life i think thingswill be okay.
if he is to evr becomeapart of my life again i think i amgoing tomake a rule that he is to NEVER mention it. EVER.
i think i’m mostly okay with my past – its other people who aren’t.
but im working on it.

after a few recent conversations with my best friend i now feel – more than ever – “weird” about the past.
i don’t particularly like the past.
sometimes i am convinced that the only way i will be at peace with the past is by not letting anyone who is in my life know anything, even remotely, about the past.
i don’t feel a need to “start over” – i just am tired of having to try and explain any of it to people who can’t understand.
the fewer questions i answer about any of it – the better.

i’m not sure if i actually feel less weird about the past or if the distance between then and now just seems big enough to finally relax a little.
either way, i’d say that is a step forward.