Tell my friends what I love about them

My friend’s husband is polite, helpful, handy with a tool, funny, chivalrous. He’s just instinctively thoughtful. He treats his wife with such respect. He compliments her often, supports her decisions, stands up for her, contributes to the finances. He looks at her with such love in his eyes. Plus he loves animals! She’s a really soft-hearted woman. They are perfect for each other.

We’ve been telling my friend that if he will just show people what he’s really like they will gravitate to him. It took him so long to let his guard down with us but we became good friends, laughed our asses off, and had some of the best times of our lives. Now he’s in a different city and was back to his old ways of being quiet and reserved. He’s starting to take chances and accept invitations, join in conversations, approach people. And he’s making friends, having fun, and laughing again. Yay to him!

I do this quite often to a number of my friends. It’s awesome to encourage people.

Most recently, I told my friend John R that I loved him. He knew it was platonically, but it’s wonderful to have friends you can say “I love you” to.

when my friend agreed instantly, no questions asked, enthusiastically, to go to see a Shakespearean play with me. She even enlisted her husband. I said “don’t you think you should ask him first?” No need, she replied, I know he’ll be happy to go. It’s so great to have spontaneous friends who appreciate my free spirit and come along for the ride! Life is too short to rigidly schedule and plan. Grab a mitt and get in the game is the way I see it.

A really close friend has done something I feel really hurt by. She knows I’m feeling hurt and betrayed. After knowing me this many years, she has to have known this is the way it would play out. Yet she hasn’t apologized and is treating me as if I’m being unreasonable. In past, I’ve only alienated people by being honest…and I really try not to retaliate or speak in anger. How will I ever learn how to speak up and resolve conflicts? I can’t walk away from this friendship but I can’t just pretend it’s okay either. Any suggestions?