Understand my bipolar II disorder & work with it

am reading a great book at the moment that is helping me clearly identify my exact behaviour/feelings when I am hypomanic and depressed. Next I want to identify any triggers I have for the rapid cycling I do between the two states. After that hopefully I can put in place some management techniques to help cope with it all.

am walking and plain to ride my bike as well. At least 30mins each morning. Is having an impact. I am better at work and generally in a better frame of mind.

I asked my partner how he thought I had been after having taken the effexor/lithium combo for about a month now. He said that he could definitely see a difference in me and that it was for the better. That means a lot. Its one thing to think to myself that I seem better but another altogether to hear it from someone else. The last week has seen some major major stress for me at work but I got through it all pretty well. I didn’t get depressed or hang onto the stress and let it tie me in knots. A big improvement.

moving along through the days now with a sense of eveness, getting stuff done but not with a hypomanic focus that sets me up for a fall. Not feeling down, sleeping better and generally feeling good. Its been a long long long time since I felt this good.

Meet with my Doc today. He is very pleased with my progress and how the medications have improved my situation. All in all I am feeling pretty good and very balanced.

Hmmmmmmm. I think its working! I feel good but not hypomanic. I don’t feel depressed even though the same things that drew me down before are still here. I’m just calmer, more even or balanced in some way. This is good.

Well second week of this combo. No major downs, no radical ups. Some awful side effects to talk to Doc about. Had first blood test for lithium levels today. Just got to persevere I suppose.

my doc has put my dose of effexor xr up to 225mg and added 500mg lithium in an effort to control the rapid cycling bipolar. Bit scared about the lithium – feel like theres an attached stigma to it somehow.

I’ve ditched the idea of a very personal blog and gone back to writing in my beautifully bound journal again – it just works better for me. Change of format in my writing style though. Instead of narrative I am using just 2 headings each day:

My victories
I am grateful for

Its really helped me re-focus and pull myself out of a low depression.

Albert Einstein pointed out the tragedy of experiencing ourselves as apart from everyone else is that this delusion becomes a prison.

I will try to remember that when depression overtakes me.