Post my thoughts

I can’t wait to move.
Two people cannot live here.

I even have to share my computer because his doesn’t have internet. ahhhh. It’s too crowded. !!!!

I’m going to print off a photo of Martha Stewart, frame it, and hang it in my new apartment’s kitchen. And then act like it’s nothing.

hahahahaha, I can’t stop laughing.
(http://media.photobucket.com/image/martha%20stewart/managermejia/martha-stewart.jpg?o=31)

I think I’m gonna use the cover off of one of her magazines.

Okay.
When I posted the question about me and Cutie on Taylor living together, you 43things were pretty supportive! Which I love! THANK YOU GUYS!

But everyone else, in ‘real-life’ are muthatrucking sourpusses. Cutie on Taylor went to cousins night with me (!) over the weekend, and two of my cousins were total debbie downers about it. It kind of put a crap on cousins night for me, and it wasn’t as much fun as it was before. It was really retarded, it was as if they were giving me the cold shoulder about it, but trying not to give me the cold shoulder. I guess I could just tell they were miffed. But honestly, what the fuck business is it of theirs to hold something against me for this?

Today was the start of summer school (part 2 – ugh) but I sat with one of Cutie on Taylors best buddies – a chick I will refer to as L from here on out. But L brought up Cutie on Taylor and I living together and had wayyyy too much of a disapproving tone in her voice/actions. I tried to push it off because I barely know this chick, and she’s one of his best friends ya know? The last thing I want to do is cause turmoil in anyway.

But honestly?! Is it too much to ask for a little fucking support?
Seriously, I’ve never been this happy in my whole entire teenage/adult life. Mutherfuckers.

_{sorry for the shitty writing. I just got home from school and I feel like ranting.}

So right now I’m majoring in English. Why? Because God told me to. Is that a legit reason anymore?? I’m just running with it. I gotta get a degree from UIC, english it is. Whatev.

I have no idea when I’ll be graduating. Or, more importantly, what I’m going to do after I graduate.

I’m thinking I have a few options.
A) Go to Culinary school. – Get a certificate or degree in Baking and Pastry.
B) More school – (re)major in Family and Consumer Science most likely at NIU. I would have to get a B.S. in FCNS to get a Masters. So I would have a B.S. in Family and Consumer Science and a B.A. in English? (Is that what I’m doing, a B.A.? No idea actually…). I would want to get Teacher Certification to be a Home Ec teacher. That’s looking to be 2 to 4 more years, on top of whenever I’m done with UIC.
C) Work while doing A or B.
and finally
D) Pull out all my hair, drop out of school forever and live a hermit life somewhere where B.S. means exactly what we’re all thinking.

I would really like to be a Home Ec teacher. But not a lot of schools offer that major (but there are a lot of offers for jobs when your done!). And I’m not sure how down my dad is gonna be with all this – he’s already been giving me crap about being done with UIC and that I took 3 years at Community College (which is BULLCRAP and he’s making up LIES!).

Guess I just wanted to write this down to get it off my mind.
Maybe I’ll just focus on finishing UIC, and then go where ever the wind takes me. Hah!

I dreamed (is that seriously a word? I thought it was dreampt) that I had a glass jar with a tan tiny bunny inside. The bunny was surrounded by water. I had to open the jar and try and save the bunny, but for some reason I had to be very careful while doing it. His fur came out a little – sometimes he seemed more like a toy bunny. When I took him out of the jar and flipped him over, I saw that he had a tag on his butt like a stuffed animal – the tag said Cutie on Taylor’s real name on it.

Normally I don’t think too much about my dreams. But this one has stayed with me all day.

I have a lot to post, but ya know, I’m really not feelin’ it.
why?

because I’M MAD!
about what’s happening to Uncle Enore.

and I don’t feel like being friendly to 43things right now.

I am planning to move to Regina. That would mean I have to start all over again. From scratch.

I feel sad about leaving.

But I have to do it.

So there’s this girl in my english class. I’ve always gotten really bad vibes from her – and honest to god, I’m not a vibe person. So I thought it was really weird.

Last night, I figured out why the hell she bothered me so much.

Cutie on Taylor and I went out to celebrate his birthday a little. We went to this kids house and there were a few people there. The girl from my english class was there too. Later, Cutie on Taylor and I had a minute to talk alone.
So I said, “That chick’s in my english class.”
He says, “That’s the girl I thought I got gonorrhea from.”

one night stand. halloween. I knew that. I just didn’t need a face, especially hers.

One of the things Cutie on Taylor and I have talked about on more than one occasion is sex before marriage. I never really had an arguement for why saving yourself for marriage is best. But now I do. Random causal sex devalues “making love” immensely. It makes the other person feel drastically unimportant.

I was upset last night. I’m over it now (ish). I suppose it still stings to think about. But past is past is past.

It’s stressful to work with lazy people. I happened to work with two today.

They don’t deserve what they’re getting in their paychecks.

Boy was I ever tired.

lately I can’t turn off blue oyster cult. It’s in my blood.

Cutie on Taylor.
I’m falling completely for him.
I’ve been sick as a dog on and off today. I went to borders and bought 100 dollars worth of books. (hahaha, yeah. I effed two of my goals in 1 hour of shopping). When I was coming back home, I got instantly sick again on the L platform. By the time I got home I’ve been hot and cold twenty times over. I stripped down and got in bed. I couldn’t sleep.
All I could think about was Cutie on Taylor.
I’m a firm believer that relationships are meant to build each other up, make each other better and feel more loved than humanly possible.
He’s doing that. It’s been a week, but he’s all over that.
I already want to be the best possible person around him/for him. He’s making me want to sew more, screenprint more, read more, cook more, do better in school, spend more time with people I love, have more fun, put more attention and focus into everything I do. How can one boy shake up my world so much?

Just being around him is illuminating everything else that I love.

This post is very raw. I just sat down and typed. One reason being I haven’t really posted much about him and I know there’s been a handful of you guys encouraging me and following this.

I’m in love with him. Flat-out.