not cry so much

Forgot a couple. See, this Wednesday we have our school’s athletics carnival. And I just remembered – I cried at both the year 8 and year 10 athletics carnivals. Heh – again, I’m assuming no one saw. Ehhhh…

These are all crying sessions that occurred at school:

Year 7 – cried when I broke my nail in PE trying to catch the ball. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but then a girl yelled at me for missing the ball and it hurt my feelings :(
-when a girl gave me a note saying that everyone hated me. It had signatures of people who “hated” me. I cried for over an hour, throughout lunch and into science. It was embarrassing.

Year 8 – I offended my friend and she started crying. So I started crying as well, and our other friend then had to deal with two crying girls in the middle of class.

Year 9 – I don’t think there were any major incidents that year…none spring to mind, at least…

Year 10 – my friend and I had an argument about religion. She frustrated me so much that I walked away and burst into tears.
-after a conversation with a friend, I cried in geography. No one noticed…
-during a conversation with a friend

Year 11 – when people tore down posters that my friends and I had spent hours putting up. That was at the beginning of maths. Again, no one noticed except one friend who sits next to me.
- this past Wednesday. During legal studies, a couple of times. Oh dear…the drama. Let’s not relive that moment, please. What senior student cries in front of her whole class?? Hopefully will not happen again for a while…

So…what’s next?

When you need to cry, you need to cry, and there ain’t a damn thing about it. It’s funny – since I put this on my list, so much crap has been happening, and I’ve been crying/trying not to cry more than ever. Ehh…whenever I’m trying not to cry, or something really awkward or bad happens, I dig my nails into my palms…and I now have permanent marks on my hands. Argh.

I had planned to make this goal “not cry for a month”, but I realised that sometimes it’s necessary to cry. Yes, I know that crying is natural, and makes you feel better, and that it’s unhealthy to suppress your emotions…but I don’t care, I’m sick of crying. Eh, I don’t cry nearly as much as I used to, but I hate the fact that certain people get to me so much. So yes…from now on, I’m only crying when I have a decent reason to.