This most important goal is complete. Now I have to move on to more important goals! 4 years ago
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Stop your childish words. We do not and would not talk bad about you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You made your bed. You have done bad BAD things own up to your own actions!
Emma is a sweet baby and she is loved at my home very much. What you say we do would hurt her. You don’t hurt the ones you love. We are not the kind of people you portray.
I would appriciate it if you would stop it 4 years ago
When I very first put this as my goal. I had one thing in mind. HIM.
He wasn’t good for me and I knew this the whole time, from the very beginning. There was just something flattering about having a young “hottie”- this “tough guy” that would keep my ex at bay- be my boyfriend (his pictures really do suck), but it’s not like he even took care of himself and it made me lazy in turn.
He turned into an alcoholic over the years, a really bad, honest to goodness with shaking hands alcoholic.
That wasn’t good for me either. I like alcohol. But not for EVERY SINGLE occasion. It got to the point when we had birthday parties they were just another party only with more expense on me because I had to buy food this time. I like it better when birthday parties are special.
He wasn’t trustable. I am learning that this has to do with his self esteem and his not being able to handle all that alcohol that he drank. The same was (is) with her. Not with me. Even tho my self esteem is in the toilet and I’m not sure how to get it back. He was (is and will always be) a cheater and a liar. He was just very manipulative about it. VERY. Very sneaky about it. He would have really had me fooled but my self esteem starting failing shortly after hooking up with him.
He is now out of my life and this in it self will totally improve my overall life and change it for the better without me really having to do anything else.
As soon as I am over the hurt, the shame, the humiliation, as soon as I get my self esteem back this goal will be complete.
I will continue to change it and make it better. I am a grown up now. No more bad guys. No more guys that have been in prison. No more guys that I have to take care of. No more ex- drug addicts that find other just as destructive behaviors. This was also my ex husband of 7 years. This one took 3 1/2 years of my life. I have learned something.
I want to respect myself and learn to really love myself so that I don’t make destructive decisions. I need this for me and I need this for my kids. G 4 years ago
My boyfriend f’d my daughter- in- law. He swears it was only once (I caught them, it was over a year ago- but I didn’t really “catch” them and I was made to think it was all in my head and that I was this crazy jealous b).
So my son says that it was more than once- she told him. I had him move out a week ago yesterday before I found all this out.
He picked a really ridiculous fight and left for the night only to come back at 5:am. So he needed to stay gone.
I really thought about working on this “relationship” the past week and that we could work all this out. And he f’d her again on Tuesday. When I was about to cave in…. I find all this out. He confessed, (only because) she confessed. I may have lived with it for longer.
She actually called 911 on herself (who does that?).
I’m never going to see him again. But it really hurts. I am not going to drown in alcohol. I have plans for this summer. This is going to be MY summer. What ever that means.
My ADHD son is gone for the summer. He has a counselor that comes for him once a week at the house. She is going to continue to come for me. I don’t know what good that is, but she is there I guess if I need her.
I’m really hurting so bad. I’m not sure why this happened. It’s not like he wasn’t treated good. Wasn’t like he wasn’t getting “enuf”. It’s hard not to blame myself. I really don’t understand.
I know they both had self esteem issues. She is really bad and needs to stay in that hospital for a while and stop drinking and get on some kind of medication!!!
My son says it’s over with her too. I hope so. I want to see my grand daughter as much as possible, but I don’t want to see her mother.
I have to go. I have to go cry before work, try and get out as much as possible before I have to be out in public. 4 years ago
one particular reason that I wrote this goal and it wasn’t alcohol. It is one of those things that I think I am afraid to verbalize. Is that dumb??
I still have this problem and it hasn’t changed any. I have to make this HUGE move, this HUGE decision that I think I am just not ready to make. I’ve known I’ve had to do this since before I even posted it on this site.
I tend to “pussyfoot” around the main issue with all these “not so relevant” posts that I have been making for this goal. All of them are true in a sense, but not true to what this goal is really about
I am not tired of it enough, I guess. Maybe I am afraid- but I am not sure of what exactly.
How much longer will I take???? 5 years ago
funny how a lot of my goals tie in with each other.
Since I have quit drinking I am really wanting to do projects around the house and I also have a little extra money which to do a few things here and there!
I am reading more, looking to take a few non-credit classes this summer while my kids are away with their dad.
While they are gone the behavioral coach will still work with me to help me create a few good habits and to get a little organized and “structured” around here. She is helping me become more consistant.
This will help me with my “clean sweep” goal as well as with this goal.
This is a good thing and although I will miss my kids terribly I do need this time!! G 5 years ago
Whether or not I want some things that will be happening is kind of out of my control. Like having my mother move in with us as soon as her long term health care kicks in. Not something I would have put on “my list of things to do”, but she really has no where else to go.
There are other things too. I am finally getting my roof done!! It has been leaking for years and has steadily gotten worse. I have the money and WooHoo I am so very excited! They come on the 6th to start. I am feeling soooo responsible about this!
It is hard to maintain a house when you are poor!
I am going to try to check off bunches of my list this summer!! Things that I really want to do but put off!
I’m still not drinking- taking a sabbaticle of sorts. It has been a long while since I have done this. It is my 23rd day. By all means I have not quit indefinitely, but it was a little out of control!!
I think it is also helping somewhat with my motivation and I don’t want anything in my way right now!!
Having a “behavioral coach” coming by once a week is going to help me just as much, if not more than my son and my family- of course what helps mama helps everyone…. cuz, “if mama ain’t happy ain’t no one happy”. RIGHT???? =-) 5 years ago
I am feeling so much better these days. I have stopped drinking. There was just so much stress in my life this year with my mom, her house, my house, the kids, work, the relationship. It was easy to let it get out of control. It has been 18 days today. Not to say that I won’t ever again, but it is riduculus the amount of money that can get spent and the time that is wasted that you can never get back.
My mom will possibly be moving in with us. That will be a challenge as we already have 6 of us in a three bedroom.
My credit is getting better. I was able to refinance my house and even pull some money out in these hard times. I am so very grateful for the money. I am going to get my roof fixed and save the rest for the down payment on my moms (grandma’s before her) house until I make sure it is really, really sold to someone else.
The thought of moving….. yuk! But it is (was) a family home before my mom lost it after her stroke. I didn’t know things were so bad for her. We’ve never really had a relationship.
I got a really REALLY good job offer (pay wise)- But the company hasn’t done so great this year and they are reorganizing. I am waiting to see if the bank will back them after the sale of some of their equipment. I want to make sure the position will be there in the near and distant future. I sure do hope so!! What an opportunity for me!!! And the PAY!!!! Whew!!!!
My life sure does feel so much better than when I first posted this goal last year!! 5 years ago
How all these things tend to tie in together.
Yoga – it makes me feel better (already) and I have more energy. It is something that I can do with my kids and they will like it too.
The getting up on time thing before school starts will be a biggie for me right now.
I don’t really have any responsibilities besides me right now and it is weird. Good for me, but weird. I feel like I am slacking, but maybe it is just time to be lazy and re-charge before school starts and my life becomes hectic again!!! G 5 years ago
that I tend to blame others and my circumstances for my unhappiness instead of taking on the responsibility myself. After all- are we not the ones responsible for our feelings and where we let ourselves take those feelings? I am tired of being unhappy over what someone else is doing or not doing!
I need to decide what I want to do to change myself and not wait on others to do it with me. I can not change others. I can not change my circumstances. I can only change me! What is it that I DO NOT LIKE ABOUT MYSELF OR MY LIFE (not what someones else likes or likes about me- not someone else’s life- MY LIFE)??
I will concentrate on that and stop blaming everyone else or anyone else for MY unhappiness. 5 years ago