visit hiroshima

Because…they make proper okonomiyaki and the strength of hte people who survived the war is enormous. I want to paint that.

I did this in 2002 but I think it is worth sharing and recommending this experience to others. This is not a “here’s a picture of me standing in front of the Eiffel Tower” kind of trip, although I am not taking away from that and I have done that too. Going there was not like being a tourist. It was different to that. This was a great trip because it showed me how dispicable war can be but also the power of hope, how people can rebuild their lives and the will to live in a future without war. The taking of civilian lives in war is always wrong. I seen many photographs of the victims immediately after the bomb was dropped on the city. Some showed people with the skin haging from their bodies or suffering from radiation sickness afterwards.
At the peace monument a young girl came up to me and gave me a little origami swan and a poem she had written about peace. This and the whole trip was very moving and enlightening.

8月６日

Didn’t write yesterday- legs too tired from constant itching, mind too full of burnt school children. Glad I went to the museum yesterday, instead of waiting until after today’s ceremony. Helped me appreciate what the ceremony was actually for, put the cries for peace into a better context. The museum itself is one of the best I’ve seen. Presents things in a balanced light – doesn’t shirk Japanese war atrocities, puts forward American reasoning for deploying the bombs. Alot of information about the development of such weapons, both before and since Hiroshima, about the amounts of weapons available in the world today, nuclear-free zone treaties and the like. I left feeling educated as well as very moved, which I think is a fine testamony to the museum and its aims. We do have to educate people like me, in order to prevent history repeating itself.
The nuclear weapons they have today, hydrogen bombs, are thousands of times more powerful than those deployed in Japan. You’d think they would have been satisfied with the destruction they wrought there, but no. Must seek progress, must improve. Whatever the consequences. Having seen Hiroshima, it is utterly impossible to conceive of the damage such weapons would cause if used on a city today. I always thought Bush was a bit of a prat, and I was dutifully shocked by his threats of preemptive nuclear strikes, but now, understanding these things better, I am filled with fury, cold sickening fury that he could even voice such things. Preemptive? PREEMPTIVE? That destruction, that ruin, the wretched sufferings of a drawn out war all compressed into a single, solitary bomb, not in retaliation, which would be bad enough, but preemptive, before any damage has even been done, even threatened? I can see now, having heard their story, how such things arouse such passion in the people of Hiroshima, and I am appalled.

I didn’t cry during the ceremony, which surprised me. Afterwards I wondered around, tried to piece together what it meant to me. Not as straightforward as it seems.

Truth be told, I had always been half persuaded by the deterrent school of thinking, regardless of the arms race it engendered. But now, with the advent of global terrorism, the argument has lost its weight. Who wold you retaliate against, should a bomb be used? The line between states and causes has been blurred as we move forward, and terrorists more than anyone understand that.
And yet, disarmament? Could it happen? Not that I don’t want a world without the threat of a dozen Hiroshimas holding constant vigil over me. Of course I do. Who doesn’t? But it’s more complicated than that. How would it actually happen?The weapons are in the world now. The knowledge of how to make them can’t be taken out of it. It is possessed, and there will always be someone willing to sell it on in secret once disarmament has allegedly been completed. Maybe it is better to keep these things out in the open.
God, the price of greed. A hundred thousand lives at a pinch.

I don’t think I’ve ever wished for anything against the progress of science, the understanding of our world and the forces that govern it. But I wish, now, in Hiroshima, おみすください graven into my head, I wish more than I have often wished for most things that such knowledge had never been found.

I think that is what the ceremony, the doves, the paper cranes, the weeping old ladies, the tens of thousands of people all sitting in perfect silence, means to me. A plea, a prayer, to an empty sky, that we might not bring our own destruction upon ouselves. let the sun fall burning from the sky, as must surely happen. Let the sky be darkened to death by asteroid, as is possible, I suppose. Let the harvests fail and plague sweep through us and the seas rise up and swallow us whole if need be, but not this. Not, at our own instigation, 1000s upon 1000s reduced to drinking the pus leaking from their own wounds so great is their thirst, eyes burnt away so that they never learn that sometimes, sight can be a burden, entire stomachs vomited back up and cancers like golf-balls springing up out of skin years later. Not that.

There is nothing after life. There was nothing before, so I suppose it isn’t much to lose. Well shoot me then, quick and clean. But not that. Not the end of the world fallen out of a balloon in the sky.

The ceremony itself, I sat next to some nomks from korea. We swapped email addresses – hadn’t expected monks to be on-line somehow. A lady showed me how to fold a paper crane. I prayed. I do confess I prayed: a monolgue in my head, though I kne nothing was there. A hard habit to break, it seems. Laid my flowers, thought of how miserable, how pathetic a consolation it must be to see strangers lay flowers on stone.
Went to the international centre for a tea ceremony – I’d met the teacher on the tram and she’d invited me along. More paper cranes, watched a Spanish man make a paper boat much to the astonishment of the Japanese, drank bitter green tea served by students. Seemed surreally removed from the ceremony above, the mourning and mood of contemplation, but I suppose that war is only and always has been a casting of in-groups against out. We have a duty, not to ourselves, but to our children, to open our group to the world, to receive and exchange and strive to understand, to limit the lines along which such groups can be drawn, so that we never again can be tempted to bestow Hiroshima upon “outsiders”.

Walked back to the atomic dome. It had been strung with photos of the chemical attack in Kurdistan. Never again, we mouth blithely, again and again and again. When will we utter it next, I wonder?

A man and his friend had their photo taken with me in front of the dome because I was, not just kirei, but O-kirei, respectfully beautiful. We chatted for a while, this and that, strangers sharing thoughts. I think, now that knowledge of such weaponry has come ito the world and cannot, in all probability, ever be removed, that is our last hope. Strangers sharing thoughts.

worth it, a thousand times worth it. O, I can’t describe. I had a diary entry I was going to type up, but the internet at my house has gone awol so you will have to wait. idem photos. But O! O! Shakespearean O! Days in the mountains, under the shadow of typhoons; days between rice fields, talking to old men on trains; days on the beaches, with the temples lit up red against the blue sea; days on the rivers under fireworks displays; days days, coming back to myself, adrift from my comfort zone and with freckles on my nose; days in the onsen pools resting my limbs; days questioning things, days becoming serene; days days away from the miniature, days redisovering smiles I didn’t know I had lost.

And then, at the ending, days in Hiroshima, wrapped up in grief with Korean monks on pilgrimmage and residents come to remind themselves not to forget. Days under silence in a city risen up out of nothing, literally nothing, nothing, unfathomable nothing. Days in the shadow of destruction, days with their burns behind my eyes, since they had lost their own. So many school children, did you know that? 13 year olds, one after the other, busy building shelters in their school groups when the bomb struck. I never knew. I knew but I never knew.

Oh my god the power that we are willing to release upon ourselves.

I didn’t weep during the service. But afterwards, in a basement, an exhibition of drawings drawn by the survivors, then I wept, pretending it was sweat. Red flames and carcasses and bones piled up onto rooftiles, drawn in wax crayon or pencil. The annotations written by the drawers: we found the charred skeleton of my auntie, holding her baby, still standing upright in the kitchen. The people started to cry with one voice, as if on command, water, water, water, please. How pathetic a sight, people walking the streets clutching bones, convincing themselves they were carrying home their loved ones. Then I wept.

And the lantern ceremony in the evening, glowing paper lanterns cast into the river, red, yellow, green, blue they shone brightly. O! It was a beautiful sight. Then, against the aesthetic comes the knowledge: no. Not beautiful. Corpses. Dying of thirst, pleading for water, all dead now, all long gone. The river must still be full of paper this morning.

Just rung up to make my reservations; always a traumatic experience, speaking Japanese on the phone! Given that I’m never likely to visit any of these places again, I’ve decided to splash out and stay at top notch ryokan (traditional inn) with lovely outdoor onsen for a full on relaxing experience. I considered staying at youth hostels for at least part of the trip, to save money, but decided I’d rather have the seclusion of not having to make chit chat with other travlling gaijin, and the luxery of onsens to dip into after days in the mountain.

The itinary is thus confirmed:

aug 1st, night in boring (CHEAP!) hiroshima hotel. Possibly eat okonomiyake. It’s very famous there, you know. They put ramen in it apparently, those crazy fools!

aug 2nd, ferry over to miyajima island (10 mins) early in morning. Look at shrine, scramble around island mountain, ring ryokan who kindly offered to come and collect me from the ferry port. Onsen. Relax. Shrine at sunset. More onsen. Possibly food, but mostly just onsen.

aug 3rd, up early. Yoga on beach? sunrise. Onsen. Back to Hiroshima, train up to kurayoshi (sp?). 4 hours, I think. Ring ryokan, who also offered to come and fetch me rather than forcing the poor gaijin to naviagte a 20 minute bus route. Onsen. The most radionactive onsen in Japan, no less! Wander about town. Did I mention the onsen? Onsen. Out doors, naturally.

aug 4th, bus to nearby mountain, climb mountain, see shrine suspended crazily from mountain, descend mountain. Nice art museum if have the time and inclination. Or a lake a couple of minutes train ride away, where you can rent bikes on go for a roof top onsen. Return to ryokan. The lady on the phone says it turns out there is some kind of festival in the town, with fireworks and what not, which is an added bonus and completely unplanned. Onsen, festival, sushi until I threaten to explode, onsen, sleep. Possible get up for a midnight onsen.

aug 5th, morning onsen. naturally. Train back to hiroshima. Check in to dull (but cheap!) hotel, contemporary art museum, wandering, food. Possible onsen withdrawal fatigue.

aug 6th, peace park and A-dome, memorial ceremony and reassessment of my life and place in the world. Find nice space to sit and write out my thoughts. Even draw something, who knows. More anonymous city wandering.

aug 7th, back home to the island of northern delights. Hope iihama san remembered to feed cat in my absence. Possibly bury cat.

Sounds to me like a pretty blissful week!

And yes, I apologise in advance, no interentting! I’ll be taking the keitai for emergencies, but it’s staying off off off unless I find myself buried beneath earthquake rubble.

SMILE! It’s Tuesday!

Two days!! Just told the office about switching all my holidays around, and it all seemed disarmingly easy. Woop woop!

bought the plane tickets (cost me an arm and a leg, but there’s late booking for you). Briefly considered going elsewhere, given the price and my bank balance but hey, when your life is drawing to a close, memories will be all you have left, so you’d best make lots of them. Plan on spending a few days milling around mountains and onsens and islands before heading into Hiroshima proper for the atomic anniversary and art gallery chic. Feel a bit guilty about piling it on the old credit card, but I know if I didn’t go I’d regret it, so bugger the bank. It’s reinforced plastic, it can take the strain.

Have finally worked out when my holidays are and will be browsing for flights (too bad about goal number 16) when I finish work. The atom bomb memorial ceremonies take place on the 6th August, but I don’t know whether to aim for that day or aim to avoid it. I suppose it will depend on the flights. On the one hand, the city might be overly crowded, and I think visiting the memorial would be big enough in my life even without a major ceremony. I want to go for a moment of introspection, and perhaps the crowds would detract from that. On the other hand, I strongly believe that Japan, as the only ever victim of nuclear weaponry, has a bigger role to play in encouraging disarmament than it is currently doing. All those people, gathered in reflection and grief – it could, and should, make a statement, and I would like to be part of that voice.
I was talking to Daichi about Japanese history they learnt in school, and he said in his textbook there was a solitary line: A-bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, upon which the teacher didn’t elaborate. That staggered me, since even in my rural British high school, where we hardly touched upon the world wars outside of Europe, we spent several lessons talking about the use of the bombs, whether it was justified, the repercussions for the people still living there, the implications for future uses- has it made it easier or more difficult for countries to use bombs in the future? etc… I found it hard to swallow that in Japan of all places, these things were not even mentioned in the lessons.
The use of nuclear weapons was a huge, and in my view, horrific, leap “forward” in the history of humans and their willingness to destroy individual lives for the “greater good”. It is a lesson that shouldn’t ever be forgotten.
Even if you can’t be in Hiroshima, I hope that on 6th of August , or any day, today even, you’ll take a second, an infintesimal fraction of your life, to think about nuclear weaponry and the reality – the reality – they threaten to bring. And, in the case of Japan, have already brought.

Memorial day or not memorial day? Let booking availabilty be the judge.

My mom is coming to visit me in Japan in August. I told her that Hiroshima is the one big city near me that I’d like to visit but haven’t been to yet, and she agreed to go with me! I’ll let you know how it is soon!

I was born on the anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing. learning this fact sometime during elementary school was a bit horrifying for me, but overall, I think that sharing my birthday with this horrific event has actually been a good thing- it’s gotten me more involved in social causes, and made me more aware of humanity. I’d like to visit Hiroshima so that I can fully understand this event, and make a kind of peace with it.