be less anxious

for the last year or so i have been getting pains in my chest due to anxiety. I also have picked up smoking to try and lessen my stress :/ I have so many things that i want to fix right now in my life and i think that they need to be fixed right this instance, so in turn i get anxious because i can’t do anything about it. I have learned to take a lot of hot baths to help me de-stress, and i was taking an anxiety pill BUT that is no way i want to spend the rest of my life, on a pill…. i went off the pill, but think about taking it every once in a while because i just want my chest to feel normal. It is a real burdan to have to think about it a couple times a day

I’ve been working on this most of my life. I was under a lot of pressure as a kid.

One thing that seems to work for me is mindfulness meditation, but it’s sometimes hard to remember that this tool exists.

...and then I end up throwing up.

It prevents me from doing a lot of things, like new stuff, or meeting new people, or dating. Anything where I don’t have control. Just the thought of these can make me feel miserable on the spot.

It has gotten better over the years, though. But whenever it happens again, I beat myself up about it.

Think they helped a lot. One of the main things was recognising that I’m normal and that I shouldn’t feel so ashamed of my negative emotions.

Working on this with the help of a therapist.

What makes anxious is my friends. I want them to respect me more and think that I’m one of his/her best friend. I want to talk with him/her with no people near us. I mean just two of us. That makes me feel better. Because I’m asking wrong things to them and don’t know what are they thinking about that. I just don’t know how to talk with them like that. Maybe via IM? Oh, yes that’s right!

personally, i think this is a bit obvious for me…

When I was a student in Santa Cruz I wasn’t too anxious at all, in fact the opposite a little under motivated but now all that is catching up to me, and I keep worrying about life’s purpose, and my goals like traveling and have adventures and finding a career with meaning. Ahhh the daunting quarter life crisis approaching. However i’m letting stress, and anxiety get the best of me, and it’s defeating me, instead of motivating me! I even had a panic attack in a crowded restaurant last December, I managed to soothe my nerves without any doctors but I never want to repeat that type of worry.

Need to meditate, relax, have more tea!

Flicking through an old notebook, I came across some notes that I made last year whilst reading a book about Buddhism. I want to bear the following in mind day-to-day as I feel it will be of some use:

In, out
Deep, slow
Calm, ease
Smile, release
Present moment, wonderful moment.

Whenever you feel confused, angry or lost, if you practice mindful breathing and return to your island of self, you will be in a safe place.

1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill-health. There is no way to escape having ill-health.
3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand.

Anxiety is the illness of our age. Worrying does not accomplish anything. Anxiety can only make things worse. Even though things are not as we would like, we can still be content, knowing we are trying our best and will continue to do so.

Ask yourself, what am I waiting for to make me happy? Why am I not happy right now?

Was doing away with the notion that everything depended on me, that I had to do right by someone else, that I somehow had to make myself “legit” in the eyes of other (have no idea what this means), and, honestly, klonopin as needed—so I could start actually functioning and seeing that I could survive situations I previously thought I couldn’t.

I had to adopt as much humility, as much honesty, and as much earnestness as I could bear- if I am real from the beginning, what can anyone else justifiably do to hurt me? Nothing, and I actually get more help and more kindness this way than keeping up some ridiculous front that I have everything under control.