Write more

I’ve scribbled three small pieces that I’m rather happy with since last week.

A start.

I have good skills, so why not? :)

No wonder its universal
wanting and wanting to be wanted
like the desert desiring rain
a feeling that lingers

how do we solve this problem
does it just go away
or is there a conscious movement to be made
the pawns on the chess board move so slow

waiting for the fruit to ripen
I await patiently
for it to turn a lush red
ready to be eaten and devoured

is it healthy to feel this way
can we move on
I pray to in order to breathe
this longing will subside

I want to start writing in my journal everyday again. I use to, but then I stopped. I get a lot of prompts and writing articles off of the internet, but I haven’t done any of them in a long time and I have a lot of stories that I never finished. So everyday I’m going to try doing at least one of these to start out with and then maybe I’ll do more as I get use to it and finally finish one of my stories.

Summer is a wonderful thing. Year after year, around May or June, I find myself taking up jogging once again, reading books I used to love back when I was 10 years old (and still do!), and starting a new story about neurotic gangsters, chivalrous captains of a spaceship or whatever happens to be the thing at the moment.

So, I’ve been writing. Nothing ambitious, nothing serious, but writing nonetheless. It feels really nice to write just because I want to and because I’m ridiculously fond of my stupid characters, and not because I have to.

I’ve got all this “crap”, (mixed with some good stuff) wrapped up inside, that I NEEDED to sit down and write. It’s time for an update:

Kenneth and I got married on June 15th (which was a year to the day that we met). While I am very happy, and he’s exactly what I thought he would be, I’m also acutely aware that with our incomes, this sorta kills my chance to get the grants and/or scholarships for law school. I’m still registered for the LSAT in September, but since I’ve taken this Paralegal position, I stopped studying. There, I’ve said it, out loud.

Next there’s the issue with my son, whose 16 years old and running the streets with his friends. He’s decided that he’s “sick of me telling him what to do” and left home to live with various friends, etc. My mother’s upholding him in this crap, even to the point of sending him money and encouraging him that it must be my fault that he’s lost his damn mind.

Back to the job. I love it! I’ve never really dug into the criminal law arena, other than misdemeanors and traffic ticket defense, so I’m learning something new every day. The people I work with are great, and I hear tell they have the most awesome Christmas Party in Jacksonville.

....that’s the past…moving to the present, I’m on Weight Watchers, and loving it. It’s only been two weeks, and I lost 2.2 pounds the first week and 1 pound the second week (that was the week we got married, and if you’d have seen what I ate THAT day….I though I’d GAINED). I’m loving it! There, I’ve got it all out. My husband must have known I needed this, because on his way out the door (I sent him on a fishing charter today for Father’s Day), he asked me when was the last time I’d written. He knew I needed to get it out.

to kill two birds with one stone. I took my notebook and my ‘writing’ pen with me on my walk. After the hour, I found the nearest park, sat and watched the swans for ages. It was just so peaceful, warm and silent. How weird is that silence in a park. Anyway, after a while I got down to the business of writing. It was the most productive I have been in ages and I really liked the space. I am thinking perhaps that should be my new writing space.

I seem to have hit a roadblock. Haven’t written anything in three days now. The characters seem empty, plot holes aplenty, and anything I try to find to resolve or move action forward feels very forced and unnatural. Maybe it’s because of crappy weather outside (nothing but rain for the last 2 days), and if I just get my earphones on, walk a while and get back to my characters’ world everything will be OK?

One of my personal challenges on my “reboot” process is going back to write as I used to, about three or four years ago. Because I’m planning to update my career (I’d like to be a journalist on the next few years), I think that overcome this block is extremely important if I want to succeed on my profession. Start looking for inspiration on casual, everyday themes would be a fine exercise. Let’s see if I can write interesting lines about them.

i wanna write more so i can fullfill the dream of writing my own childrens book…