Meet my biological Father

Around my 40th birthday my dad, who I always thought I resembled, drove over from Arizona to see me in LA. He and my mom had divorced after 43 years of marriage. She married a man she had been corresponding with in an Arizona prison. Anyway, I don’t know why he thought he had to tell me, but he wanted me to hear it “before I heard it from somebody else”. Maybe my brothers, I don’t know who else the somebody elses might be. It was not a terrific shock; since their divorce and some before then I had begun to brace myself against whatever news my parents could deliver to me. So it turns out that while dad was in Washington DC in 1962, mom was in San Diego having a fling with a sailor from Okmulgee Oklahoma. When dad returned she was 4 months pregnant. He’d been gone about a year. Dad decided to stay on and take care of me because he knew mom would never be able to do it by herself. So there’s that.

Mom told me after I asked about it that my bio father was still living in OK. I have found his address and phone.I even have found some names that may be a brother and a sister.But what if they don’t want to meet me? His house is by a country club.What if they think I’m looking for something? He’s married to another lady. What if he told her that he was a virgin when they married and she’s cherished that all the time they’ve been together? What if he needs a kidney and I give him one and the one I’ve got left fails? What if my parents have told me a big lie because they really hate me and just want to see what I’ll do, which I hope they’ll stop before I donate my kidney to a stranger…And what about my dad? Isn’t it disrespectful to him after he gave up the good years of his life to live with a woman he knew didn’t love him to take care of me? To go and search out a man who knew enough about me to come and find me if he felt like it but elected not to?

Oh it goes on. I’ve had 4 years to think about the possibilities.I’ll probably never do it and regret it, always be half empty like I’ve ever been, knowing something wasn’t really right.

Of course, like so many people, I would like to know who my biological father is. Thinking about it, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to be his friend if I met him, or become close, but he is an important piece to who I am. I could have other half brothers and sisters, that I don’t even know about. Another family that is not even there. I hate not knowing.

I’ve never met my father; he left me before I was even born. I asked my biological mother who he really was(I was adopted by my grandparents), after building up the courage, only to be shot down. She told me that she wasn’t ready to tell me. She said I might not like who he is. And she told me he knows that I exist, and knows where I live, but apparently never bothered to do anything about it.

Knowing this didn’t hurt; I just felt numb about it, it’s not like I know him enough to care. But I do still want to know who he is. And I guess I’m going to have to try once again, be more persistent and insist on getting the truth.

This I will never be. However, I have struggled for several years with my identity because I feel that there is a major part of me that I don’t quite understand. I found out when I was 11 that the man I always called “Daddy” was not my biological father. He and I have never had a close relationship, in fact, I haven’t even heard from him in about 6 years. I heard that my biological father was crazy about me, but my mother wanted to marry the other man, so he gave her his blessing and moved on with his life, allowing the other man to adopt me. I searched for him when I was about 16, located him in Florida, but never got to talk to him. My mother had a brief conversation with him, and he told her he needed to think about things, and we never heard from him again.
I have a lot of feelings toward all three parties, anger, resentment, confusion, etc., but the main thing is, there are parts of my personality, the way I look, things I do, etc., that I know don’t come from my mother. I would just like to meet him face to face, to confront my feelings and bring me some closure.

I dont know what im suppose to type here so ther erwkgdlk

after almost 19 years i would like to meet the man that helped give life to me

LOOK FOR MY DAD

I have been told that my father is called Johnnie Johnson and that he was around the area of Longsight,Manchester England around my birth which was 22 September 1984. My mothers name is Jennifer Pennant, if anyone can help it would be much appreciated

I got to know a little bit more about the story behind my biological father today whilst shopping with my Mom. He sounds like a pretty nice guy. I think it would be cool to meet him just to see. I don’t feel like I have any anger or reservations or that I was affected severely in anyway because I grew up with a good father figure….but I still feel the need to see him just once and know he’s still out there. I could have a half brother or sister out there somewhere.

I’m a grown woman in my late 20s and I am more recently wondering who my biological father is.

My dad, the man who was a man and stayed with my mom to raise us is great! He did the best he could to take care of us kids, and treated me like his very own child.. so much so that I was unaware that I had a biological father. I thought that the man who raised me was my dad and biological father.

Now that I’m older, I am wondering how much my biological father’s absence has affected my present life.

I’ve had 3 relationships. The first was a male, and the second two were women. They were all very very attractive and smart. They all cheated on me… and even after they did so, I gave them another try.

With my current girlfriend/ x-girlfriend.. she cheated on me, but we’ve been talking again for a while. I know she loves me. It’s hard to be in a lesbian relationship with the social structures that make is difficult (e.g. conservative definitions of marriage or nuclear family refer to man and woman not woman and woman).

Although she cheated on me I love her. And I wonder if I love her because she’s still around. That’s one step better than my biological father (I think).

I’m a grown woman nearing my 30s. I’m very independent, have a great paying position in the city I live with at a great work environment, I also work with university professors, students, and low income communities. I have a great full-time paying position, 2 part-time positions, full ride for all my education (b.a. and m.a.), am very attractive to many..

and yet my heart feels empty at times. I feel the sadness of the world. I wonder what life is about. I wonder what the reasons are for me staying in a broken relationship with someone who cheated on me. She’s beautiful, but I have a lot more to offer/ give than she does. I love her, but the reason I bring this up is because I am wondering if I accept her infidelity as a result of fear of abandonment.

Similar to the abandonment that my biological allowed my mom to experience. Similar to the abandonment that I now experience as a grown young independent professional nearing her 30s.

I think he know’s where I am and what I’m doing. I’m only about 5hours away from him (I think). I believe he is married with other children. So that means that I have half brothers/sisters that I’ve never met.

And in reality, I am the only child although I grew up with 3 other siblings. My behaviors are that of an only child… fused with the responsibilities of an older child.

I just wonder who he is and what the reasons were for him leaving my mom.

Mom did fine without him. She had my dad to raise me and my sibs AND take care of mom.

I also wonder if his abandonment is the reason for my preference in women. And I also wonder if he is part of the reason I have a hard time committing to people.

Who is he?

My parents had me when my mom was 16 and my dad was 19. I never knew my dad and at some point in my life I put it in my head that they were too you and I never had the courage to ask my mother any questions about him. In reality I knew nothing about him.

On July 20th my aunt received a call from my sister. A sister(1/2 sister) that I never knew I head. While I will admit that I was shocked when I heard all this, for me it was one of the best days of my life. About a week after talking with my sister through email and meeting her, I began talking to my real father. There were so many things that I learned about myself and who I was. At some point in my life I felt it seemed as though I was opposite in many respects to that of my mother. In reality I was just like my father.

The only thing I would say is that attempting to meet your father and being the one doing the reaching out is that you need to proceed with caution. You really don’t know what you will find but as long as it is done in an open, honest, and caring manner then hopefully the gift you receive in return is the best gift that you will ever receive.

For me it was one of the best experiences in my life. There is a lot of pain associated with the experience and for the most part that is do to the question of what could have been if this happened 10 or 20 years ago. But I do have to say that any pain associated with it is so miniscule to the happiness that I have found.