talk about it, but don't let it bury me.

I have been talking about it a little wee bit. It’s wierd. I sort of think it is helpful, but then I am not particularly sure if I am just at a state of feeling fine in general.
I know its a relief to the Doc as he was sort of trying to put all the pieces together. He’s a funny guy, the doc. i can never tell whats going on in his head, whichi s probably a good good thing.

If the hurricane doesn’t hit us, I will continue this next week.

I actually siad, “I want ot talk about this” out loud. Thats new. It is burying me to not talk about it because so many things are bringing “it” to the forefront.
Doc suggested we schedule a double session and “do it properly and safely” LOL whatever.
So will schedule in a double session if his busyness permits. I can do it. In fact, i think I have no choice.

Today I talked about “it” without having to talk about it. Per the listener, I am talking in concentric circles and apparently thats ok, he thinks if I actually hit it directly things could become very unbearable. i feel a little bit better…

well with this. And I feel a bit better…

one hour of evaluaton done. It concerned me as the evaluator seemed to be sort of scowling all the time. He seemed confused by what I was telling him. He, however, did not say he was confused. So, I can only guess that he wasn’t. Tomorro one more hour…Where i’ll try to share more information, and such…and ask what he thinks is going on. I hope I am not confusing….

I am scheduled for 3 hours of Evaluation on Tuesday, Wednesday, and some time next week.
I suppose I get to talk about “it” more than I ever imagined.
I’m very apprehensive but at the same time ready to go…

As I suspected, this whole mess seems to be affecting things. Work colleagues have been asking some questions, trainer is making some statements, and I am not very happy with the focus I am placing on this mess. Appointment on Friday to sort something out. We’ll see.
I’m usually such a happy person. but not lately.

is the official talk about it day. Spoke with H. at length this afternoon. Was not fun. but also didn’t kill me. So, I get to bite the bullet, and look at it all a little further.

me a lot of pressure to talk about the past. i had pretty much boxed that up neatly. Unfortunately, H is very convincing and listens. So now, many of those neat mental boxes are having the lids lifted and messes are happening. I suppose talking is not bad, but it would be nice if I could turn it on and off as i pleased.