be mindful

.. of mindful meditation books! I may have mentioned John Kabat-Zinn in another entry as his online videos proved very helpful. In Soft Pages, one of my favorite second hand bookstores, I saw one of his books wedged between Anne of Green Gables and a Salman Rushdie. Had to get it even though I swore not to spend any money!

The title is:
Wherever You Go There You Are
Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

Has helped me in understanding the concept of meditation and put right some of the misconceptions that were lodged in my head. I highly recommend this read to those whom, like me, have committed to mindfulness but are unsure of how to proceed.

I’ve practiced yoga and meditation twice. Will do this tonight as well. A and C series salutations. Also, downloaded audio files on awareness.

It’s good to have my ‘things’ on the list arranged and organized. I figure this is the best way to get things accomplished.

I’ve been going through a really incredible year (incredibly sucky) involving panic disorder, GERD and therapy. I’ve learned a lot and come a long way so far, but I have a long way to go still.

Something Ram Dass says that I really appreciate is “Here we all are”. I think it’s hard to talk about mindfulness without talking about our emotional state. After you think through what may be bothering you one day, take a deep breath and just say “well, here I am”. I haven’t quite figured out why it works wonders for me.

I’ve found that being mindful, meditating, taking time out to relax or just BE has made me more in tune with myself. With my emotions, and physical sensations. I’m probably taking it in the wrong direction because for therapy I have to do a lot of analysis, which mindfulness is the absense of I think. All the same, it’s helping me understand myself better and it’s really fascinating.

Though it was not easy getting sleep as I tend to be so nervous before a test. However, I practised mindfulness and also loving-kindness meditation. Caring for each part of my body and letting them relax. Really helped me. And I mananged to sleep soundly throughout the night :)

I am constantly worrying about the future. Have been constantly living in the future, imagining the worst possible outcome on my driving test tmr. However, the minute I come back to the present, I feel much better and more relaxed.. and happier.. Will practise being mindful from now on as that is the only way I can be more available to others and truly live life to the fullest.. rather than regret after it has passed.

So the choices we make and the things we do are a result of our thoughts. We live our lives according to how we think of ourselves, the world, and everything in between. I have wondered at times why I feel unsatisfied with the way things are going. My life doesn’t feel to be in line with who I am, and I’m not even sure who that is, really – most definitely the result of living and thinking mindlessly for years and years. When we were kids, my best friend and I would talk about an important sort of quality we felt we possessed that most grownups were without. The wisdom of children must come from mindfulness – of simply being and witnessing the present, just as it is. What makes us fall out of sync with ourselves? When we align ourselves instead with receiving love and acceptance, avoiding pain and rejection? That must be the nutshell version of it. Perhaps, also, it is a crucial part of going through life. A book I read recently contained a quotation which I liked. To find the soul, you must first lose it. – A.R. Luria. Ironically, the book did not give me the faith and grounding I expected, but instead examined the instability and total myth of self!

I’m 24, although as a person who relates a lot to the fleeing-from-responsibility story, I feel about 20. Needless to say, there hasn’t been much growth in the past few years. I haven’t allowed for it. That is, not until last summer, when change started to happen. First, with little things, then bigger ones, until the world occurred to me in a completely different light. I may not be christian, but I can say that I’ve experienced what it is like to feel born again. Habit, though, is a tricky thing, and old ways of thinking, being and doing creep back in. At this point I’ve decided that if I’m going to live a life that I want and consistently choose for myself, I’ll have to get to know my mind. I want to know what I think, why I think it, how I think, and align this with who I feel I am.

I plan to achieve this by really taking a look at what matters to me – to the thing I am truly committed to. I plan on practicing 20 mins of mindfulness meditation for one whole week, then doing two 20 min sessions each day for the following week. I will compliment this with yoga at least 5 times a week (which is another goal!). For useful instruction and inspiration, i looked up Mathieu Riccard and John Kabat-Zin on youtube. Their videos really reinforced my mission!

I am almost never in the moment. I multi-task even with my thoughts… processing what happened, what it meant, how I can do better next time, what I need to do, what’s coming up, how I can prepare, everything that could happen next and what I should do in each possibility, and how I can do it with so many kids and schedules and demands on my emotional and physical resources. Maybe that’s why it’s so important to me to record family and my personal history with writing and photography, because otherwise it passes by unremarked without my really experiencing it.

I’ve read articles about being more mindful, and they sound nice but my mind wanders back to anxiousness. Sometimes I fantasize about being trapped somewhere with nothing to do, no paper, no responsibilities, where I would finally be able to relax. In fact sometimes I meditate on being in that place in order to fall asleep. It’s a bright little cave on the side of a mile high cliff, just me and my comfortable bed where no one can reach me or need anything and I have nothing to do but rest.

Anyway, I accidentally discovered a way that I can be mindful. It’s sort of like in the movie the Butterfly Effect when the main character travels back in time and takes control of his young self for a few minutes, and has to quickly figure out when and where he is. I imagine myself randomly thrown into this moment and I concentrate on each sense. I am physically present in my body, and in my space and time. It’s hard to explain. But I feel my heart slow and my mind clear. I am working on being mindful more often.

Developing mindfulness is of great benefit to one�s self and to those who are around us. Developing mindfulness doesn�t mean not acting in a natural fashion � it means being mindful of what one is doing. If happiness arises one is mindful � happiness is here, it sadness arises one is mindful � sadness is here , if anger arises one is mindful anger is here . With mindfulness one then has the ability to observe -

happiness is here and I am glad and mindful that it too will depart

sadness is here and I am not glad but I am mindful that it too will depart

anger is here and I must be mindful that this not injure me or another being

I meditate nearly every day and hope to develope mindfulness knowing that it would be a valuable ally

I own my own business and years ago if an employee did something I didn’t like I might do something that was not mindful. I have gone to several meditation retreats and meditate on a regular basis and have become more mindful.
I illustrate in the hopes that the illustration might be of benefit to another person.

I have an employee who plays the daily number on a regular basis. He usually plays the number in the moring before coming to work. Last year the store where he plays the number had computer problems of some sort and for several mornings he couldn’t play his numbers. He started leaving work early morning to go to another place to play his numbers. This disrupted my business. One morning he said he was leaving and would be back soon. I asked him where he was going. He said “to play the numbers”. I became angry. Immediately upon becoming angry I thought “anger is here” . I observed that I was angry. I was mindful of anger. I immediately thought “what can I do to not allow this anger to injure me or another being?” I told the employee that he was being unfair to me. I asked him what would probably happen if he was working for someone else. He said “they would probably not let me go and tell me to go back to work”. I asked him why I not do the same. He thought a minute and said “i guess you have a point”. It was refreshing to observe the anger – see it form and be mindful enought to not allow the anger to damage me or another.

Mindfulness can be a great ally. I am working on this and hope that any others who work on this are rewarded with great success and happiness.

I try to be mindful of now. If it is cold, be mindful, it it is hot, be mindful if rain falls – be mindful.

i remembered to eat the tangerine. not to think about problems, not to think about work. just to sit and eat and think about the tangerine and taste it.

it was the best tangerine i have had in ages.

I’m getting there!