See people as they really are, not as I *want* them to be.

see one particular person as he is…. not how I want him to be. I usually am good and clear in this department but I needed a little nudge and reminder again for a bit. I’m going to mark this goal as completed now… and reopen from time to time if needed again. But I have hope that I’ll be able to put this one to rest finally :)

I am getting more comfortable with how My Man is. Sometimes he just likes to do stuff together without talking, like hanging out or walking or whatever. Usually it means he’s tired or thinking or hungry and it has nothing to do with me. I repeat, it has nothing to do with me. Go figure, LOL! So now instead of worrying that something is wrong, that he’s unhappy, mad, whatever (which is a dumb thing to do anyway), I am able to say,”Tired?” or not even say anything at all, and just leave it at that. I am not turning it over in my mind. (I’ve written before that I come from a background where silence was used as a form of punishment, so it’s been a learning challenge not to feel rejected when D. is in a quiet mood.)

Did I write something like this before? Maybe. That’s OK, I’m a big believer that learning comes in circles and not a straight trajectory.

Travelling with others can be fun and difficult at the same time. I tried to stay very conscious of the fact that we all have different ideas of what is fun, important, considerate, etc. A few times I got very irritated, but overall I think I adapted very well by keeping this in mind.

with D. last night, and my ex-boyfriend’s favorite song came on at the club. Which set my mind to wandering about him and all of the good things I remembered about him.

Then I snapped out of it and remembered exactly why I left him (not once, but twice) – not trustworthy, unavailable, and emotionally manipulative.

There were those good things about him, but they just didn’t balance out the other things about him in my book.