heal old wounds

After locating the source of my pain, I decided I can’t fix it on my own. This wasn’t easy for me, admitting that I need help, but it was so refreshing once I allowed others into my tunnel of truth. This is still going on, but currently I am talking to a counselor, friends, and I joined to small discussion groups (Christian) to talk through these feelings. I think the small groups help the most, but the counselor has been quite good in objectivity and allowing me to feel secure. I think it’s best to take a multi-lateral approach to these sort of complex issues. I mean, we don’t think we can fix the financial crisis by changing the interests rates anymore, why should we think we can fix ourselves by changing only one thing?!

I will keep you updated on how this goes for me, but for now, I highly recommend talking to people. Building a supportive network of people you can trust and talking through the shit. Forgiving yourself might be just as important as forgiving someone else. At least in my case…

Find the wounds.

We all have them. I think most of my wounds are self inflicted and have been ignored for many years in some cases. I always thought they would heal by themselves. I think it’s about time I start tending to these wounds in the form of an apology here, acceptance there and a whole lot of forgiveness to bandage them up and allow the healing to begin.

someday deal with all the issues that have piled up between us

My da and I are starting to maybe come around.

He stuck up for me at work the other night and well, it was nice to hear my dad say those things…and care.

He told one of my best friends that he would check on this weekend and see if Saturday, my sister was going to a halloween event with her children. He actually went out of his way or my friend. That blows my mind.

He also told her that he knows I have a lot on my mind right now, with school and work and baby boy. Well, sure I’d love to hear that stuff from him personally, but at least I know he is starting to understand that I’m improving myself.

It will take some time, but I feel there is hope now.

I’m going to mark this goal as good but like I said, it’s gonna take some time.

i really need to forgive my father.