have 3 children

I know it’s going to be hellishly expensive to raise 3 kids in the modern western lifestyle, and I’m going to have to sacrifice a few things, but I feel I owe it to myself and my forebears to continue on the family line. I’d have even more kids if it was vaguely feasible on the kind of income I have but the fact is that more than two kids is the bare minimum.

I know I don’t get much choice, but ideally 2 girls and 1 boy.

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/chart.php?y=2007&m=5&d=8&h=22&min=11&lat=0&long=0&zone=16

because i want to be very clear about why i so dearly to be a mother…

• nuture my own child(ren) to fully express their inner essence or true self, and never ever have to apologize for being just who they are

• see the wit, humour, storytelling, writing, very irish essence of of my family’s biological legacy, intensified over 250 yrs in the same appalachian valley

• pass on the loving, nuturing affirming tools of making it thru life with faith and charity, learned from my own difficult path

• be the mom I never had

• At least one child calls me mom and knows i’m always always on their side.

My babies have definatley sorted my life out. I was a complete nut case, geting drunk and partying everynight. I have never looked back. yes it is hard work looking after 3 children but everyday when i see there smileing faces and hear their laughter it gives me a little squeeze in my stomach and a smile on my face. I love them sooo much it actually hurts.

the best thing in my life. I love my kids more than anything and can’t imagine my life without them. They are truly a miracle!!

i have a very special relationship with my best friend’s little girl. She is truly the Light of my Life. I have been very envolved in her life since day one. And because of her parents’ early financial difficulties, i often spent whole days taking care of her. Becasue i have but 1 sibling & few cousins—none of whom have children, she was the First infant i got to take care of, and for that alone she became very dear to me. Also, when she came along, i was finally at that place in my life where i was ready to be “parental”: had time, patience, and relished every moment with her. So in a way, i’ve become sort of a 3rd parent to her: she even used to play with things, identifying them as “The Mommy, the Daddy, and the Kay”, as if every family had “a Kay” in the family. :)She’s now almost 8 yrs, and earlier this week, i spent my whole bday with her: we went to a bookstore & bought books together, stopped by my apt to play with my kitties, went to a playground for a while to play with local kids, came home & ate dinner together, got her ready for bed, played with Barbies & Horsies, then read a story before before tucking her into bed. Some weeks i get to help her with her homework, or take her out for a trip to a horse barn or pony ride or to the library to pick out books; last week we went down to the creek in her backyard & collected fossils together. And of course, come every holiday, be it Valentine’s or Halloween or just Monday night, i absolutely deluge her with gifts (which i know i should put some limit to), but i Constantly see things i want to give her….and i’m weak that way. If the Husband & children dreams never come true, she will be closest i’ll ever have to raising a child. And i treasure how bright, funny, creative, individual, feisty and strong-willed child she is—the greatest gift she has given me is i was truly better as a possible parent at 36yr than i ever would have been at 19yr. Sometimes when i am most tormented by thoughts of “what might have been…”, i look at the relationship i have with this precious child, and think i was meant to be apart of her life, in a way i couldnt have ever been to my own children any earlier in my life…

Its hard to sum up an entry like this…it just strikes even me that the best thing i wanted to do for my Own birthday was to spend the whole day with her—treating Her to special things all day long. Is that parental, or parental Longing? Or does it even matter; she’s a wonderful child that feels safe and secure and happy enough to go to sleep when i’m around…

_{(photo is of me & her, laughing over numbers in a book—she was counting the page numbers in the 1,000’s!)}

HELL NO!!!

Boys

Richard Leason

Jeremy Phillipe or Jeremy Clive (esp. if conceived here, as “Clive” means “Cliff Dweller” = )

Zack Kane (dependent on father)

(english & hebrew for “God remembers” and Gaelic & Japanese meanings for “tribute to the eastern sky”)

Family name from Husband’s side:

with middle names of Vincent, Jeremy, Philip, Walter, or Winchester

Girls

Claire Violet or Violet Grace

Rachel Dora, Rachel Magdalena, or Rachel Coretta

Ariel Grace, Ariel Katiela (dependent on father)

Other middle names for with Husband’s family name:
Jael (Hebrew for ‘she that ascends’), Seren (welsh for star), Laria (greek for “the stars are mine”), Katiela (English for “A Blessing”)

_{(hope someday i get this honor, to name my own child)}

My kids are the best…I am so lucky to have them!!!!!