stop being scared of death

It is a little bit of relief at least knowing there are many people struggling with the same unanswered question—what happens when my body dies? I am 34 years old, great family, great career, etc. I have struggled with fear of death since my early teens. Ironically, another poster mentioned a simliar trigger—Edgar Allen Poe. I have spent much time since consumed with different religions, metaphysics, mediation, and altered states. I believe all of this drive is to find the answers about death and beyond.

It reminds me of being a child playing and you lose track of time—I feel like the recess bell (that signals we have to return to class) could ring at anytime and I am trying to make sure I am ready for it, but I don’t know how to be ready. All of what I do in this world, from working hard to playing with my kids seems like buildling sand castles at the beach. When the wave comes up it will all go away and have little meaning.

This morning was a particularly bad “wave” of fear and emotion about post-death. I usually start with anxiety, then I find myself thinking about purpose and values, then it turns to “what if there is no higher intelligence than human?” We are just ants or perhaps sparks from a fire. We are no more significant than the sparks coming off a fire that fade and and then out of existence.

Then I start thinking about what if it was eternity and we continue on and on and on. While that seems fine at first, it is just as horrifying eventually as ceasing to exist. It seems to come back to the only place I am comfortable with is the present- right now, right here. Then I end up in a mixed battle of utter joy for the opportunity to be here and now mixed with the angst of ceasing. It’s simply insane!

I get discouraged when people start quoting from the Bible of other religious texts. I am still hoping for science to understand consciousness to a degree that we understand the root questions:

Who am I? Why?

I would love to have discussion with people that are experiencing the same issue. For me it is background most of the time, but sneaks up on my early in the morning, late at night, and seems to increase in the winter months. I would love to chat about more regularly it if anyone has interest. jason.shane@gmail.com

This is a reoccurring fear I’ve had for the past few weeks that has been pestering me in the back of the mind. Death,the idea, seems like such a morbid and horrifying thing to go through yet EVERYBODY goes through it. I know part of it is the fear of unknown that’s also been affecting me.

I do fear it quite a bit and when I get something on my mind it’s near impossible at times to get it off. I’ve felt depressed these last couple of days and feel sick to my stomach when I think about it.

My brother passed on very early in his life and I always felt that I want to live and experience life for myself and also for my brothers memory. It would feel wonderful to one day reunite with him.

It’s reaffirming to know other people have this fear but I just want to stop these thoughts and have the time of my life.

Hi guys, this task is holding me back against life. Im 21 years old and own my own house.I have developed the fear of death since I was in junior high (6th). I remember the class >reading. the teacher ->Ms. Joe. I remember this day exactly how it happened and for the rest of my life. I had an Edgar Allen Poe Book that had a H for the P in Poe, which was kinda funny haha in my grasp and we were taking a scantron test then BOOM the thought of “what happens when you die?” popped into my head. I remember crying the hardest I have ever cried, while keeping it secret. Ever since then I had very poor grades and dropped out of college and now I work at wal-mat. The ironic thing is: I had a 3.6 in pre-med and the copurses were so easy. Why you may ask? Because I didn’t feel like it was worth it to waste 8 or so years in med-school/pre-med since you could die any second.

Let me first start off my saying yes i know there isn’t 100% concrete proof god exists or maybe there is who knows. But, I believe in God and I am not trying to offend anyone (So please don’t flame me), but I believe he exists because its hard to accept the fact that either the universe has been around forever or it was just created out of nowhere(big bang theory) in our realm of reallity. The reason I say God can exist forever because he isn’t bound to the natural laws of our physical realm.

Anyway my main point being: I wasted and quite possibly ruined my life. So many experiences and joys That I had extreme potential for, but will never be achieved because I am scared of death

hi im 23 yrs old and just like all of you im terrify of dying. i think about death 24/7. sometimes i think that im going crazy because i cant stop thinking about it. i know that we all have to die sooner or later but it scares me not knowing what is going to happen in the after life is there a heaven or hell? im a very religious person my mother says that if i have faith in God i shouldn’t be scared at all. i believe in God and have faith in him but somehow im still scared.everything seems so confusing at times. i been thinking about death for over 5 yrs now, i haven’t been able to live my life to the fullest like some people say i should do. i rarely sleep because i feel that if i fall sleep im going to die in my sleep. when i do happen to sleep is during the day time because it makes me feel safer. i just want to think normal i want to be like before when the thought of death wouldn’t scared me at all. i have gone to doctors and taking medicine too but that dont seem to help.

Im 22 going on 23 next month. Im married to a wonderfull woman who i love, and i have a completley perfect life in my eyes. I couldnt ask for more except for it not to end. I am an athiest but not by choise . And when i say athiest i dont mean nialist i believe in love and that is the biggest problem i have with theories like evolution. They have no description of how we developed feelings. I have never been able to believe in a creator and i find it hard to believe in a heven or hell or any form of afterlife, no matter how hard i try. I used to get sick with fear to the point of everything in my mind screaming at the thought of trying to imagine death. It doesnt do that to me often anymore its just always there in the back of my mind chewing at it like a rat. Everytime i have a good experience or any experience i always think “somdeday i wont be able to experience anything.” and im not just afraid for me and my loved ones but for everyone alive and thats ever lived. I think about the word forever, i think about hundreds, thousands, and millions of years when i only get maybe 50 to 70 more if im really lucky…though i dont really believe in luck. Sometimes i think that humans are to intelligent for there own good. We shouldnt be able to ponder death its just to f@#$ing hard. too unimaginable. sorry this kinda turned into a rant but ist hard for me to express in words usually. thank you its good to know theres people who feel the same way.

Hello everyone,

I’m turning 18 in a month’s time and I’ve recently been experiencing exactly the same as most of you. As someone already described it, a fear of an “endless sleep without dreams that goes on forever and ever” scares me… Sometimes it just pops up to my mind (usually before going to bed) and then I start to panic, because the idea of an eternal blankness scares the hell out of me. It’s actually more the word ‘eternity’ that scares, not exactly death. Because even an eternal life would be impossible/terrible. I want to believe in life after death but for me the alternative (nothing) that scares me seems unfortunately more realistic. As a musical person I get some consolation to the fear from music. One example is a song (by Neutral Milk Hotel) with lyrics such as:

And one day we will dieAnd our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the seaBut for now we are youngLet us lay in the sunAnd count every beautiful thing we can see

The first lines are about accepting the fact that we all have the destiny to die sooner or later. But when we die, someone also borns. That said, life will/can still be beautiful and others will still be enjoying it. However, I think that most people, especially the young (including me) are too selfish to feel happy about it since they won’t be part of it themselves.
And the latter lines obviously encourage to live in the ‘carpe diem’ way and to make the most out of everyday and every moment. I’ve tried really hard to live like that for a while now.. But it’s caused a certain pressure in a way, since I often think at the end of the day that ‘today has been another wasted opportunity to experience something special before I die’.
After all maybe it’s not worth it to think about death because we’ll never get the answer to it during our lifetimes anyway.
Feel free to comment, thanks.

i’ve been having the same problem for 3 weeks now, and I really don’t know what to think. I really do believe there is a God, but the reality is, what if there isn’t.

i don’t know, this might help though.

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=299705045560037646e4
OR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjFpdetXVVk

I am 15 and I guess I’ve had the fear since I was a child.. I don’t really think about it often, usually only on random (albeit rare) sleepless nights where the thought of death just creeps in and I’m forced to think about it until I can sleep.. I used to cry about it, now it’s just an intense fear when it’s all I can think about.

I’m just scared, I guess, of what is to come. I’m not religious by any means, so what happens? Is there really such a thing as a soul? Do we go somewhere, do we still think? I doubt the latter. Maybe we just disappear.. Long forgotten by loved ones, doomed to disintegrate flesh and soul within our coffin; unless we were cremated..

I’ll just have to wait for that day and embrace it.

I wish I knew what happens during the process of dying.If I knew,I think,it would be easier.Can anyone explain to me this process in a medical way?I really need to know…

So I’ve come to a point in my life where the realization of death has set in and since I can’t even handle my fish dying I am terrified of what will happen when a family member or close friend dies…every time I talk to someone the thought of what it will be like them comes to mind and that makes it hard for me to be happy anymore. I wonder if this is normal and it will pass or if I need help. I am not really religious but it has certainly crossed my mind to start being. Even if God isn’t real, it would be nice to believe in something to help ease the thought of death. Atleast I would have some comfort and peace with death. The only problem with believing is that some of my family are non-believers and are very blunt about it…I’m just not sure what to do…this feeling has to go away or I’m just going to be miserable.