be assertive

I signed up for a class that teaches the skills needed to be assertive. I’ve been practicing and have asserted myself at work in a few situations to positive results. This is such a great skill to have, but it is hard to change your inner script to be more assertive and less passive.

I am no pushover, but at the same time I am very good at saying yes to people, especially in the workplace.

For me being assertive means being very clear about what I want to do and pursuing these things with cheerful but tenacious purpose.

It means saying no when people ask me to do things that clearly don’t benefit my career, my class or my needs.

My boss told me today that I need to be assertive and speak up in meetings. He thinks that I am smart, but afraid to make suggestions.

I guess I am mostly afraid of being wrong, or that it is not my place to say anything since I have not been working there very long (about 4 months). Still, I want to show that I am a good employee and I know that this is done by offering new ideas and showing interest by asking questions.

But more than just speaking more, I am going to work on my behavior at work. I am going to try to look more people in the eye, walk with more confidence, and speak louder. I will try to update this blog for support!

• Kevin drove to some restaurant (it wasn’t open yet) and we noticed one of the cars in the back had the lights on. Before he drove away we pondered this morally. He encouraged me to go in and tell them. It turned out she knew and was just going in quickly. Looking back, an idle car is still a waste of fuel… At least I tried!

• We went to McD’s after the movie and got ice cream. I ordered a small ice-cream cone as usual and I was thinking about sprinkles. After teasingly badgering Kevin for a while he made me go up myself and ask for a bag of peanuts (and I got them for free). Also, a bunch of people bought cones and flurries after they saw us with it. O.o And boy was attempting to put those nuts on a messy and funny experience!

I am marking this as done. I am much more willing to stand up for myself at work and insist on the things I believe in or need. That is not to say that I have become inflexible. I am just more willing to fight rather than lose out because I don’t want a conflict. The same has to be said when I have had to return things to stores for refunds. I guess this is one of those things that will always need work and have room for improvement I just don’t need the goal anymore.

This has got easier at work over the last few weeks. I wrote a while ago about having a professional conflict with a colleague and the fact that I had been rather blunt with her. We have come to the end of the first semester and as usual that leads to a reassessment of how the routines and groupings withing the classroom go. It can also lead to a juggling of specialist timetables. In this case the colleague who supports my Special Ed kids was re adjusting her timetable. I was very firm on what worked for our class and what wouldn’t …..making sure that we didn’t have the support at times that we couldn’t use it. I must’ve been very assertive because when she came back with the second draft she told me that she was bringing it to me first to I could tell her all the things that were wrong. My kids are getting a good deal out of it so I don’t care if I have been seen as being a bit pushy on this one.

At this point in my life… I feel like I’ve had enough. I think that ultimately I’m the only one who would stick by me 100%... so why must I let other people walk all over me when I’m uincomfortable? I Think I have been more assertive for the past week… and in the end people are going to ADJUST (they gotta or goodbye..) to the real me and mould their life into mine (not vice versa).

In the end I’ll be accepted and liked because Im not afraid to speak up. Being assertive.. is just simply quitting superficiality and starting to be Real.

I’m in progress!

people always walk all over me.

And what’s even more sad is that I let them.

I’m really assertive. Sometimes too assertive! But I’m actually still kind of a pushover at work. Once that changes, I’m done! Haha.

I’m going to stay with 43things. Time I did something to please me for a change, instead of always wanting to please others.