eliminate the pain of the past

I feel fabulous…

For the first time in my life. The pain is gone! Of course they will always exist in my life and come up from time to time, but this month i have been overwelmingly happy. And it feels amazing, foreign, and just good! I love my boyfriend and he has shown me what i am really worth. He has helpt me figure out that i don’t need to feel guilty about things that i do, because they arn’t my fault, or are a natural occurance or even that they have nothing to do with me. But I am still struggling with that a bit.

Overall I’ve worked out what I want, where I want to be and, I’ve started doing what I need to do to get there.

Thank you Joel. I love you.

I have closed one of my accounts… stood up for myself to some who hurt me for the first time ever!!! (obviously i have stood up to my family and boyfriends when they are horrible) and i feel great!!!

im sorry that i sound like a horrible person. But the past has really dragged me down a bad path. i need freedom. I need to somehow show them that they don’t affect me so they leave me alone.

Its gotten to a point that I cant stop crying and when im not crying im thinking over it all. Trying to figure out when its me who is wrong??

Im no good at being gracious, where as these people know how to play off others so that they look innocent, whereas i just say what happened out loud then i get called jealous. And for the life of me I don’t see how that makes me jealous??

Anyway the boyfriend i got now is the one who is pushing me to drop them cos they arn’t treating me right. One especially is just playing games cos she knows she has done a really bad thing.

Sorry to bitch guys but Im getting through it faster then i thought i would!!!

I am deleting the toxic people from my past. The ex fiance, 2 ex best friends – one is a liar and is now with the ex fiance (within 6 months) and the other is also a huge delusional liar and is spreading rumours that my boyfriend HIT her! That’s right. Crazy mean, rude, self rightous people are no longer welcome in my life. They will no longer have the ability to contact me as im closing off all email accounts ect that they know… I am denying them the chances they have to turn it all back on me and make me feel guilty for their sad pathetic existance. I am soon to be completly free!

I’m excited for this new life!