Find the missing piece of the jigsaw and stick it together with the tape, the tape of love (sticky stuff)

that if I wanted to, I could find my mother or at least some members of my mothers family. To cut a boring story short I haven’t seen my mother for nearly 24 years. Wow that sounds impressive if a little unfortunate. I am not especially sad about this fact, as far as I’m concerened I have never really known what it is like to have a mother so I cannot be sad about something I have never really known. Of course I can imagine that it might be like having a dad but more feminine, or maybe more girly. Hmmm okay I just don’t know.

So I won this trip to Korea and I’m going and even though I want to go because I want to know Korea as much as I know England, I know that the curiosity of finding my family will also be praying on my head. In all honesty I’m not sure I want to find them, or more specifically, I’m not sure I could take any sort of rejection if I did find them and they didn’t want to know me. I’d rather just not know. However if they did want to know me, it could really change my life, I would have a larger family for a start and my brother would have a greater support network and we could both learn about our other heritage. We could learn another language and meet our cousins and get to know our mother and the life she came from. But then I wonder if she did want to know us then she could have found a way to get in touch, unless she thought we didn’t want to know her. I don’t know what to think, it feels quite surreal that my mother is potentially in a country that I will be visiting in 4 months time and that I won this trip, not to India or to Mexico or America, but to Korea. I really do believe I am meant to go there, I don’t know what the outcome will be, but I think it will completely change the way I think about the world. I spoke to the boy the other day and he said “Are you sure you’re not actually just a movie?” Not only that but I will also be meeting a boy who I kissed 4 months ago and will have been waiting for 9 months to kiss again. Talk about epic stories. I had better give Baz Luhrmann a call.

On the Salvation Army website there is a trace family members section and all you have to do is fill in an online form. Imagine that? I could find my mother by automated email.

Anyway I’ve always wondered where she is, what sort of life I’d have had if I found her, if she actually likes me? This form could actually change my entire life. Right now I’m so fed up with life that I think that would probably be a good thing.

I haven’t decided to fill it in yet, but I have bookmarked it.