develop a crush

I’ve had a crush on this boy called Alex from my old school (I finished a few weeks ago after my GCSE exams) for the last six months. Sometimes it hurts, but most of the time, it’s fun and sweet. :D

It’s a terrible pain in the a** but such good fun at the same time! HOpe I never stop having them, it’s makes life so much more exciting, especially when you bump into them unexpectedly!

It’s great and fun, and it sucks really really hard at the same time. But hey, at least now I know how I react in these situations… I pretty much turn into a messy pile of goo.

i’m sort of over this now. haha.

...but i developed a crush nonetheless. maybe a few crushes actually. but mostly on boys that live nowhere near me. i guess that makes the crushing more plasible b/c there is no way to let it be something more than a crush, right? and my crushes are at different “crush levels”. some are mini-crushes, some are intermediate, and some are big, huge, gigantic, blushing-when-i-talk-about-them crushes. i realize this sounds like a really complicated system for a simple crush, but that’s how my brain works.

crushes are fun.

...I can flirt with everyone except the people I like.
Is this a common disorder..?
Haha.

...I like and I saw her for the first time tonight after several weeks. I almost spoke to her (what was I thinking, she’s engaged and a lot younger than me)! This was on the train platform on the way home, she works where I used to work.

If you’re wondering what she looks like, think Cameron in House MD.

Some progress anyway.

...unrequited love is a bitch

...given up hope on a full blown romance, but some excitement in my life ‘d be nice. Even a “no hope crush” would be nice…then again maybe not, I’ve had my share of those.

So what am I aiming at with this goal? Just to have some hope in my life. Oh god, that sounds so sad.