Write whatever comes into my mind at this moment

I am having giant mood swings lately: happy, sad, energetic, exhausted, vibrant, dark, friendly, grumpy, strong, weak, confident, overconscious, relaxed, nervous.
What it all boils down to…nevermind I don’t feel like sharing it anymore…

Tenderness, such a nice fantasy…

out of concern for me, out of love or maybe out of compassion. And he seems so vulnerable, as he tries to reach out – for the first time – to me. I sense his fear, his realization that ever seeing me again is not so obvious as it used to be. He is getting old and I am out of sight.

He tries to hide his tears but i can see them glimmering as I lift my bag and wave goodbye. I can’t reach out, I am cold inside. But even though my face is straight, my heart is aching as i walk away. And although the pain is there, I feel happy at the same time. For he has given me the most noble gift he has ever given me: verbally, physically and emotionally show his love for me.

I love him, but he has always been and will always be a mystery to me. I wish he was a simple man, I wish I was a simple girl. But, unfortunately…

it is incredible that things are going as smoothly as they are
why don’t i feel happier at all?
these are giant leaps i am taking and i am not getting tired
i keep looking back as if i expect i have a rubberband attached to my behind
but i don’t and i am moving forward with such terrible speed
it makes it hard to enjoy the ride
finally luck is on my side