stop being embarrassed and let go

The tiniest things freak me out; for example I remember this one time when I was walking down the hall looking the other way and I bumped into someone and fell over. It wasn’t a big deal – nobody said anything, barely anyone saw and the person I bumped into was fine with it. But sometimes I’ll just think of a silly little thing like this and feel so embarrassed and I’ll cringe and want to lock myself in my room and never come out again.
So yeah, this needs to change.

I’m so horrible about beating myself up over past embarassment. I’ve gotten a lot better, but I’m still pretty bad sometimes. I just sit there and thin “God Ty! Why are you so stupid!” I know I need to let go, and it’s what I tell people, but it’s so hard.

I’ve found the best ways to avoid embarassment are 1) think. Thinking prior to speaking is a good thing. 2) prepare yourself. DOn’t be afraid to break out of your shell, but before you do, prepare yourself to get a little embarassed, and let it go before it happens. It works! 3) Don’t worry about what others think. If you like you, who cares about them. I know that this is probably the hardest part, but it’s possible. Just think, will I ever see them again anyway? Or why do I care what they think in the first place? Once you know ther answers to those questions, it’s easier to help yourself trust yourself and lave yourself.

Everyone experiences embarrassing moments in their life. What sets apart each individual is how they handle their embarrassment. You either constantly beat yourself over it, or you laugh it off.

Me? I get embarrassed easily and beat myself over the dumbest things. Little things like not knowing the answer to an easy question, or just being under the spotlight. Even memories from two years ago can make me cringe. But I want to change all of that. I want to laugh at my dumb mistakes and just move on.

Everyday is a fresh new start.

Lately I’ve been trying to let go of a guy from my past, but it’s been hard because sometimes things I see or do will remind me of memories I have with him in which I acted really immature or ignorant. It makes me feel ashamed of myself, and it’s stupid.

Just because I acted like that in the past doesn’t mean I’ll act the same way in the future. Who I was isn’t who I am now. I need to stop caring whether he still sees me for who I was. It doesn’t matter. He’s not part of my life anymore. I need to learn how to laugh at my young, stupid years and move on to something better in life.

I think I’ve made this my resolution for this year. I really think it’ll help me a lot.

It’s always in my instincts to, when I do something stupid, feel ashamed and awkward, therefore making others who saw whatever I did feel the same way. And it sucks.

I figure if I can be less worried or focused on situations that normally seem embarrassing, people will see how chill I am and I won’t be involved in as my awkward situations.

I’m kind of done stuff like this already. Laughed at myself if I tripped in public and such. It’s much easier to ignore the shameful feelings and just admit you’re a goofball. Hopefully my instinctive need to feel embarrassed after I do something lame will sort of fade away after a while.

oh jeez. you’d think that being 15 i learned my lesson on never twirling my hair in a brush. well i did, and it got stuck.

HOW EMBARRASSING. EEK!

took me 3 hrs, some peanut butter[my sister’s idea], conditioner, and a chopstick. oh gosh.

the worst part is the next day, my sister told this guy who i barely knew, and he told it to another guy, and i’m just hoping they didn’t tell anyone else.

I just gave up on trying to be someone different for everyone.
Now I’m just me.
I’m not ashamed, and I’m not egotistical.

Last night, I sort of came out of my shell a little bit at the American Werewolves concert. I actually asked the bassist, Tony, when they were going to go on.. (it was only 10) and he said they’re looking at 11:45.
Then he totally recognized me from myspace, and said he thought that he was supposed to serenade me for my birthday. I got really coy and smiled. Doesn’t sound like a big deal. But I’m a huge fan of theirs.. and for the rest of the night we hung out! We went and got pizza while we were waiting for them to go on and got to hear his life story. I met the whole band, and Tony gave me one of their cds after I confessed to being low on funds.
Here’s Tony!

I was feeling so good and the music was loud. I’ve never danced so much in my life! This definately has to be a weekly thing. I can’t wait for their next show, I’m going to be on the list! All of those fantastic things happened because I was sick of standing around being shy, waiting for the band to go on.

Its not any fun being the shy one in the corner.

This goal has been in the back of my mind ever since I posted it. It has proven to be a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I don’t really have anything to be embarassed of, its more of a self concious issue. I think that if I were able to just be myself, and be straight with everyone, life would be more fulfilling.