and will keep the “focus” when writing in my “love” goal.
I had needed this as a prompt when my life turned upside down soon after getting married (not because of our marriage, but with other factors).
I feel like I’m handling the challenges of everything far better, and my ‘need’ to ‘focus on my marriage’ is passed. 4 years ago
...from it being two years. Amazing!
In some ways it feels like just yesterday. In other ways it feels like we’ve known each other a lifetime. Very cool how that happens.
My anniversary present to him is to get him a new wedding ring….finally! He/we lost it on our honeymoon. Somewhere between Sfakia and Chania…. It was not his fault at all, and must have slipped off while we were carrying all of our luggage, switching hands back and forth, walking all around the city walls. So, now just got to get to a jeweler when we get back to town. NOT the one where we got our rings in the first place. Flaky Robert shall not be revisited. 4 years ago
I feel really good about this goal.
J and I have gotten to spend a lot of quality time together. We’ve had a couple of really great date nights this week. We’re having great conversations about goals around having a family, financial planning, where we might like to move to, and what we like about each other.
I’ve been cooking a lot this week, and my cooking is starting to not taste like my cooking – LOL.
I’ve also been cleaning more, and without begrudging. And I just feel really good about J and our marriage.
Yay for good husbands and for being a good wife! 4 years ago
J has started his third year of medical school and is physically in the hospital, doing rounds and treating patients. The demands on him (and conversely, us) have increased. At times I feel selfish and just wish he can send attention and praise in my direction….
I vow to dig deep for more patience, understanding, and selfless love to help him through the tough times and exhaustion.
I vow to be more helpful and to willingly, not grudgingly, do what needs to be done, and be compassionate when the scales do not balance fairly.
I vow to remember our vows of 49 weeks ago. :)
I’ve been reading a lot about how the stresses of a physician’s training can really strain a marriage. I’ve seen the ways it has strained ours, and yet I refuse to let it have that much power. I know we’ve still got a long way on this journey, but I love my husband, and I will not give up on him or our marriage. He has promised me as much, too. I will continue to seek what will sustain me on a personal level, so as to be able to be an even stronger partner. And I will love him fiercely. 5 years ago
Now that J is in the throes of medical school, he is home a lot less frequently and totally stressed when he is home. In general, I have a complex about things around the house being just and fair, and I’m trying to let that go, KNOWING he just can’t contribute as much anymore.
The kitchen has a lot of pots that need washing, I’m planning on making dinner tonight, I should run the vacuum, and put away the mail/mags on the coffee table.
I’m excited to throw a little more effort at him, while he’s concentrating so hard on doing well in school and on the Boards. It’s the least I can do right now. 5 years ago
Today I am very grateful to be married, and that it’s to J. While dating, you always wonder who it is that you will choose and who will choose you back, and when it finally happens, you don’t spend nearly as much time wondering how it happened.
Not that I need to spend my time figuring out how it all happened, but I will exhale a breath of relief and gratitude that it’s him, it happened, and I have no anxiety. 5 years ago
I woke up this morning with my husband completely over on my side of the bed, snuggling me and peacefully asleep.
I feel luckier than I’ve been allowing myself in a long time. 5 years ago
J has been great at making sure we are fed and fed well. He is definitely the cook in the relationship.
Today he’s got a full schedule, and I don’t…
I’ve been looking for recipes using sour cream, as I bought some last week and have a ton left over. I really started salivating when I saw recipes for Hungarian Goulash and Ravioli Stroganoff. I’m not sure yet which one I will pursue, but I am excited to go grocery shopping, and set the table nice, and make him dinner for once.
What’d make him even happier is if I could make visible dents in my clutter piles, too.
Yes, to focus on our marriage is to make right some of my crooked areas…. :) 5 years ago
I feel tremendously grateful for him in this moment, and wanted it recorded. 5 years ago
J and I walked to our town center tonight to have dinner at Noodles and then get ice cream!
It was so nice to get out and walk. Overall, we probably walked 3-4 miles. A decent distance. The air was a perfect warmth, and we barely saw any cars or people. We talked all the way there, and all the way back. We both thanked each other for being a walking partner.
And he and I just smiled and giggled and held hands. Well, I guess the giggling was mostly me, but it was a happy time for both of us. 5 years ago
If I had it my way, we would have had something chocolately. But pistachio pudding is his all-time favorite, so I thought gelato would be extra-delicious. Then I topped it off with fresh raspberries.
The recipe to a successful marriage. 5 years ago
We went out for dinner at one of our favorite Mexican places – good margaritas and mojitos, crunchy chips and a smooth salsa. We had a lot to talk about, and on the way home I appreciated him for the ways he got me to smile and laugh today and for all the good things we’ve got going.
I feel truly grateful to have him in my life, and I’m happy to keep our marriage at the forefront of my thinking and attention.
Tomorrow we’ll go to the Farmers Market, where I’ll get all the necessary ingredients to make him dinner. If I’m able and adventurous, I’m also going to try making pistachio gelato. :) 5 years ago
Our marriage hasn’t exactly had the best support since we got married. Within hours, we had new challenges that threatened to dampen the “bliss.” Within a week, even more challenges that really pointed out the family I was knew was gone, oh but, remember how you just got married? You have a new family.
My poor marriage that has become a much lower priority, simply because I’m going through so much and trying to sift through the changes and the confusion.
And my husband. He’s been so patient, so supportive, just trying to help me piece back the pieces. And I fight him like he’s contributing to “enemy schemes.” Complaining that he doesn’t understand. Distant because he can’t. On the receiving end of being told I’m not grateful for all the things he is trying to grasp and help with.
I added this goal, because it’s true that if the only thing I have left, truly, is my marriage, then I have to keep my focus on it and my husband.
I want to make concerted efforts, simply for him and us. Date nights, special meals, thoughtfulness, love notes, voiced gratitude, long talks, laughter, love.
This won’t be a hard goal. This isn’t even saying I don’t focus on my marriage. This is just here to remind me to think outside of the box and to express more of my appreciation. And hopefully, be distracted from the loss and bitterness that I had been feeling all summer. 5 years ago