be more independent

So yesterday I went to the gym all by myself. I love my gym, I always go with friends to either dance or do something else.

Yep… I always go with my friends. Always. I remember this one time I went all by myself cos my friends called me when I was already there and said they either couldnt make it or had become sick.

But today I did both core and spinning ALL BY MYSELF! I’ve also made up my economy about my buspass. Lucky for me I get it 200 kr cheaper cos Im 19. So I only have to pay 420 kr a month. I can handle that.

(when I was in school it gave us a buspass if we had more than 6 km to school. Well, let’s just said I had much longer than that so I’ve never had to pay for my buspass before)

I would like to have my own place, bills, food etc.

I’ve done a very nice budget over my economy and planned very rough how i can live now before I go to USA. I also work to earn my own money.

But what does independent mean? When will this goal be done? After or before USA…

To be honest, I guess it would be after when my independency really is put to the test.
(when I was in school it gave us a buspass if we had more than 6 km to school. Well, let’s just said I had much longer than that so I’ve never had to pay for my buspass before)

That is, high functioning Autism. It does cause me to struggle in this area, but I can do this if I just try! I believe it! If I continue to work at it, I can make it!

Two years ago, I never would have believed I would list this as one of my goals. I used to be the independent one my friends looked up to. What happened?

Somewhere along the way I lost self-confidence. I started comparing myself with other people. I started questioning myself. I stopped making time for/pursuing the things I love to do. I became dependent on my boyfriend. I compromised myself.

I think the first step to recovering my independence is to be myself!! Do things that I like to do and stop caring what other people think. Lets give this one a go…

Do more stuff I like to do for ME not because others like it, or because it is socially more accepted and people won’t think your funny. Think for myself, be logical and practical and follow my heart.

I need to stop being so dependent on my boyfriend – I’m losing my own identity.

I moved out of my dad’s house a little over a year now. So far it hasn’t been easy .. but a lot less stressful … You have more sense of freedom. It’s nice but i do miss my family here and there. But i wouldn’t trade this sort of liberty for anything. I love it.

Ever since i moved back to my old hometown, i feel like i’ve been depending on everyone to help me do even the most trivial things. I have always been the type of person who’s proud of the fact that I’ve always done things on my own accord and of my own effort. But now I’m forced to completely change my way of doing things because of certain circumstances that I can’t get out of. I want to break free of this chain of dependence and start believing in myself once again. Hopefully, I can try to find that little bit of courage left and start planning my life from scratch when the time is right.

...LOL

Ok, I’m 19 but my parents think I’m 12… I really want to be more independent, they are always protecting me and I feel I’m not really living.