learn to be happy with myself, by myself, for myself

I think I used to have a fear of being alone. Now I can not imagine my life without alone time. I have taken trips on my own but, even just spending a day relaxing at home is a welcome escape. There are always going to be “down” days but, for the most part I really enjoy my own company.

says it all

These past few days at the beach were lots of fun, but still relaxing, and made me do a lot of thinking.

Random Thoughts In No Particular Order

1) I have never been friends with couples. Most of the time when my friends get significant others, they forget about me. It is strange but refreshing to have friends who incorporate their boyfriends into their friends, and interesting to hang with and not feel completely third (or fifth) wheeling.

2) That said, I am sad that my boyfriend (now that I have one for the moment again!) couldn’t come. But it was also nice to be by myself with my friends, able to do whatever I want (skinny dip in daylight, swear a lot) and not have anyone who would potentially be hurt/upset/etc. about anything I did. Not that M. would really react that way, but it was nice not having to worry about it. (This is probably me just trying to convince myself that it was fine without him… but it WAS.)

3) I really still enjoy dissecting other peoples’ lives. :) I think one of my friends is completely imagining the closeness in her relationship. I don’t keep secrets very well.

4) I am very blessed to have been given a complexion that does not burn frequently.

5) I went on a walk this morning on the beach, because after breakfast everyone crawled back into bed and I thought, This is our last day here!!! and I didn’t want to waste it. I was alone, walking down the beach where tons of trucks were parked, lots of families and couples and friends all together having fun, and I walked right by the water by myself and at first I felt funny, but it was nice. I really enjoy knowing that I can be on my own and be okay. It is satisfying. I don’t know if I ever thought I’d actually get here….. but I’m liking it more and more each day. :)

I never want to be completely by myself. I have lots of people in my life I love and wouldn’t want to spend my life al by myself.

I believe I have accomplished this. I am feeling happy, I’m enjoying the time I spend by myself and I’m happy for ME!

I believe I have achieved this goal. I am now happy with myself most of the time and I have learned I can be happy by myself also. I also believe that it is important to have people in your life too. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. I now can enjoy solitude where at one time I only felt loneliness. I’m glad I’ve reached this point.

Every time I see this goal at the top of my List it makes me feel weird… I always wonder if it’s right, if it makes sense – if I can do it!

I question it philosophically too…

Can anyone really be happy “by themselves”?

I agree wholeheartedly that being happy with yourself, for yourself is a good thing – but can it be done by yourself?

And do material goods making you happy mean it isn’t by yourself? If material goods as happiness still counts as “by yourself”, is it really an achievement to be made happier by material things than by people you love?

I don’t know… to be honest I’ve always been far too insecure (Bullied, Bad Relationships etc. etc.) and self-doubtful about myself; so my self-confidence is far too based on other’s opinions of me. When men are paying attention to me (not immediately, but in a more long-term way – having a crush on me etc.) I feel much better about myself. I don’t like this reliance on others in the development of my own opinion of myself…

Tell me, is this normal? Does everybody feel that way? Or is it me who’s weird?

It’s happening…I’m feeling happier with myself, and enjoying the time that I am choosing to be alone to pamper me.

Why does my weight determine if I’m happy with myself or not? I have to work on this…lost weight (40 pounds) in three months and really started to be HAPPY with me and now that I have gained 5 pounds – I’m so UNHAPPY with me.

Weight and being happy are not compatible in my life at this time. I need to have them work hand-in-hand.

A morning routine…What a huge difference having a productive early morning routine could have on my self confidence and love for myself.

Getting showered, dressed and make-up on before the kids wake up, making me bed and having the toss pillows in place, doing a quick clean-up in my bathroom, throwing in a load of laundry with all of our dirty clothes from the day before, making and having a cup of hot tea, while enjoying my very clean kitchen sink and counter-tops from the last thing I do before I go to bed…REALLY has boost my respect, confidence and feelings for myself!

Wow, I really am accomplishing some of my goals for me and my family. I am able to be productive and organized. I’m appreciating myself for the desire to do what is good and right.

I’m on my way of self-discovery, respect and love for me!