love my scar

Well, I’ve decided that it looks like a lizard. (Some people think it’s a bunny). Also, the skin around it is returning a bit more to it’s normal state, so that makes me feel better.

I’ve got a bunch of scars, most of them I don’t even notice, and don’t care if I do. I’ve got one that reminds me to be strong so I like it. I’m even considering tattooing over it because it’s fading. Then I have a few that I absolutely hate because of what they stand for, but they’re slowly fading, so I’m ok with them.

But then I’ve got this new scar. Just 2 months ago a (very large and powerful) dog attacked me. Thankfully he just bit my wrist/hand once. His teeth went to the bone and cracked it though. With a such a deep bite, infection set in quickly and I ended up having surgery. The scar isn’t really big, but I have very small and delicate wrists. Or I did, my right wrist is now larger and looks horrible with the scar dominating it. Since my wrists were my favorite part of my body, and because it’s extremely visible (think how often you reach your dominant hand out to people…), I’m having trouble liking my scar.

When it was healing, I had hopes that it would look cool (the scab was actually shaped like Kokopelli, lol), but I don’t think it does now. And the story behind it is one of a careless owner and a dog whose life was torn apart because of it, not exactly the coolest thing ever (not to mention, I sometimes see it and hear that awful snarl which gets my heart racing like crazy).

So… I guess I just hope it fades and my wrist returns closer to its original delicate state (and regains all motion and feeling, that would be nice.)

I do however like the MUCH smaller fang shaped scar on the top of my hand/wrist, where the bone cracked. =)

i’m starting to feel comfortable with my stretch marks on my bum. sometimes i find myself thinking they’re cute (ha!)

maybe the scar isn’t that far behind.

i have many scars, mostly on my hands, and i love them all because most of them remind me of something that happened and most of the times it was good or makes me remember something. i have one from where i nearly accidentally cut my finger off which reminds me to be more careful. One from where my friend Alex pushed me through a door way and my finger got caught in the catch and the skin ripped right down to the bone, several from stanley knives and the such becuase i am not very careful when i cut things like linoleium or cardboard and sometimes it slips and one from the oven when i was kaning my brothers and thier friend lunch. Scars are reminders.

When people look I just tell them I flew off a streetbike with my best friend and i’m alive to talk about it. I’ve got scars on my back, shoulder, neck, and hands.

Love. Your. Battle Scars.

a couple of months ago when i saw my scar for the first time in a long time under very unflattering lighting and thought, “Ugg.”

also my hair has grown long now and have been wearing it down for the usual purpose of covering my back

last week, I did wear my hair up in a bun infront of a semi-new group of people. a small victory.

I was not yet two when I accidently spilled freshly poured tea on myself melting my 1970s kids pajamas into my right shoulder and blistering my face, back, and right arm. My shoulder and upper arm show the only scars and they’re pretty impressive. I can’t remember a time without them, but I also don’t remember being embarassed about them. I am lucky in that I forget that they’re there. Usually the only time I think about them is when someone asks me what happened after seeing mee in a swimsuit or tank top, but I don’t mind them asking. Doctors used to assure my parents that I could have plastic surgery when I grew up, but now that I’m nearly 30, I wouldn’t even consider it. These scars are part of the history of me.

As a result of my work on the get stitches goal. Actually, I didn’t intend to get stitches, but with the cool scar I got, I think its a fair bargain.

The scar is pretty hard to see through the frame of my glasses, and will probably fade considerably over the next fifteen years or so.

I think I did it. Not love it but I don’t care anymore. I’ve been filtering people out of life like a mad woman and am now indifferent if people don’t like me. It actually saves me the trouble of liking them too.

I’ve been wearing mid-backed and low-backed shirts lately. I even bought 2 lovely dresses that were mid back (though I still can’t wait till my hair grows back long enough to cover it).

My reasoning is if you don’t want me because of a stupid scar, I don’t want you either. See? A filter. Since I’ve been apathetic, I’m getting more and more comments. Mainly, “So uh, what’s wrong with your back?” from friends. So I know people notice and strangers do too; they’re just not too comfortable with asking.

My self-esteem has taken a serious blow since my still recent break up and doing this isn’t helping but I think I need this despite how painful it is to my bruised self-esteem.

Been wearing tank tops and tube tops that expose the top part (ugliest part) of my scar off and on while i’m in Houston visiting my parents. Thing is, I only wear them when I know I’d only be seeing those I know fairly well or people I won’t ever see again..

On the several tame dates that I’ve been on, I consciously wore high back shirts.

So still not quite there yet.