today I said NO to (2) people.

I think this is about honoring yourself, your feelings, your goals, your time, your money more than what that other person wants from you at that time.

Today I said NO to (2) people. 7 months ago

some serious issues in Salsa with a guy grabbing my boobs. nobody really believed me because he had been dancing for a long time and was friends with everyone. it was very upsetting for me and kind of made me want to stop dancing and also made me want to stop exercising and eating healthy (I was afraid to look good because I didn’t want guys to molest me or violate me)

BUT

I was insistent and talked to the teachers until I made it clear that this was an issue and they needed to address the class and explain that there were certain “no-touch” zones… And I think they finally got it.

so I am pretty proud of myself. I am a little keyed up after such an emotional conversation, even though it’s an hour past my bedtime. i’m going to sleep now but i’m glad we finally got past that conversation. i feel like the worst of it is over and i’m ready to to get back to my healthy lifestyle. I’m not giving up! I am going to lose weight and look hot and amazing and be the beautiful gorgeous amazing woman I know I can be!

:) 13 months ago

I thought this was an amazing list!!

10 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

1. Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting.
 2. Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
 3. Going against personal values or rights to please others.
 4. Touching a person without asking.
 5. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
 6. Letting others direct your life.
 7. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
 8. Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don’t want.
 9. Being overwhelmed by a person- preoccupied with thoughts of them.
10. Letting others describe your reality and/or define who you are.

Credit:

http://www.estherkane.com/newsletter/wcc0103.htm

:) 13 months ago

I was at my salsa class (it’s always the same people, we’re kind of like a family)

and I’ve been losing weight, and I think I look pretty good now – and I bought some new red pants to celebrate, and a new black tank top. they were red skinny jeans etc etc. anyways I think I looked pretty good and I guess sexy.

so I wore them to class, i thought it would be a good outfit for salsa, red is the traditional salsa color.

anyways I was dancing and when I was spinning, one of the guys grabbed my breasts!! full-on grabbed them! twice!! first he grabbed them, then I spun around, and he grabbed them again!

I was really really uncomfortable but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it in case it was a mistake.

I just started laughing and I couldn’t stop.

the guy was also latino which I don’t know if that makes it worse or better… they are just traditionally much more “touchy” so I think they don’t pay as much attention to personal space.

obviously that doesn’t mean that makes it ok to grab someone’s boobs! or that they go around grabbing random boobs!!

i don’t know…

it seems awkward and sort of “convenient” if it was a mistake that it would happen when I am losing weight and looking sexier and dressing sexier, wearing red pants etc.

soooo… I was really uncomfortable.

it’s over now.

but this is something that I need to deal with.

I want to be able to continue to lose weight. and I want to be able to say “no”

should i talk to this guy about this??

do I have to dress like a nun so this doesn’t happen?

I guess if it happens again (do I have to wait for it to happen again!?) I’ll just say in a loud voice “he grabbed my boobs!”

I don’t know…

I could ask jessica (my teacher) about it. 14 months ago

If I am walking down the street, and a guy is staring at me and says “Hi” to me… it’s ok to look away and keep walking. I don’t have to talk to him to be polite.

I don’t have to give my phone number or email to anyone, just because they ask.

If someone invites me to a party, I don’t have to go.

Even if there is societal pressure for me to get married and have kids, I don’t have to do that. 14 months ago

“I have to leave now”
“I don’t want to talk about that”
“I’m not interested” (If a guy is bothering me”
“I need more personal space”
“I am busy then”
“I need to check my calendar, I’ll get back to you on that.”
“Can I call you back?”

If someone calls… I don’t always have to answer the phone.

Just because I say I will do something, I can still cancel or change plans. 14 months ago

“No thank you”

“Please be understanding about this, but I come from a culture that requires a lot of personal space” [if he is invading my personal space]. If he asks what culture, respond “WASP” – make it a joke…
ha ha. 14 months ago