achieve my top secret goal, waha!

picked up my ID card today. and, blimey, i was supexited. i can almost believe it now—Nationality: DEUTSCH. unfortunately, alb has gone out, so i can’t keep showing him my identification every 5 minutes. i wish i had something to pick up from the post office. maybe i should go and join the videotheque (or are they called something different nowadays?). ooooh, imagine flying without a passport!

am really happy _{and a little proud} to be a double agent. it’s a good reflection of my psychological state: half this, half that.

on finishing this one off once and for all today: went back to the Bürgeramt to apply for an ID card. am happy to report that i got some ace new photos done yesterday, newly hairstyled and no sign of greasy tramp. i can pick up my ID card in 3 weeks and may then feel truly (half-)German. have already received notification to vote in a referendum at the end of the month, so i’m evidently already on the electoral roll. now just need to get round to filing everything back where it should be…

update: filing now done. crappily but that’ll do; it’s not a competition.

i have the certificate! i swore a solemn oath to uphold the constitution! i now officially have dual nationality.

am feeling a certain amount of anticlimax.

won’t count this done until i have my ID card and have filed the many documents i had to seek out for this process back where they belong. oh, and i’ve just realised i’ve taken a signed document with me that should have stayed with Frau H. so they’ve probably revoked the whole thing already. gah.

for my certification. next wednesday at 9am. oooh, i’m supexited now!

_{need to take new passport photo. get some done in Z? why have i still not had a haircut? where are the old ones anyway? saw the greasy tramp ones the other day, but the others must be somewhere. ooh, and then i can go straight to the other place and apply for an ID card. an ID card! yay!}

was obviously having a speedy day yesterday. she’s written back already. they’re ready to certify me!

she’s asked me to come and have secret goaledness conferred upon me on the following date:

and then she’s forgotten to enter the date. brilliant, will now have to try and get her on the phone again. after all, as alb said, the federal president may want to congratulate me, and i wouldn’t want to miss that.

then i have to pay some more money.
then i have to bring new biometric photos.
then i have to apply for new papers…

so we’re not quite there yet.

it’s funny, only yesterday i was convinced that one european nationality is pretty much like the other. but now i see black on white that i’m going to get a new one … it’s a bit scary!

have finally handed in everything they could possibly need and more besides. unlike last time, i was the only pleb person there at 9 o’clock, so didn’t have to sit outside the door waiting for hours. she said it won’t take long to process everything. and then i have to get more greasy tramp photos by the looks of things… as long as i get this sorted before the next elections i’ll be happy!

finally managed to get hold of the stupid woman. clearly she only answers her phone during her “office hours” (one morning and one afternoon a week), when members of the public are actually observing her and it might be a bit embarrassing for her to let the phone ring and ring, which is what she does otherwise. anyway, i said she’d asked me to ring and arrange a German test and she went off to look for my file. then she started wondering why she wanted me to do a German test when i clearly “speak perfect German…” i agreed and said i’d found sth stating that my translation qualification is at C2 level (B1 is required). she said, “really? well, that’s fine then.” and started making notes in my file: “speaks perfect accent-free German”. then she got a bit worried that i was pulling a fast one, and checked “that is you, isn’t it, Frau Campanula?” to which i answered “yes, it’s me”.

the whole thing continues to be quite ridiculous, but i’m getting there. now to do the final sort of documents, write that letter with alb, and go and sit outside silly woman’s door for hours with a view to handing it all over. then the ball will be in her court.

worked myself up to doing some work on my top secret goal this afternoon—and just as i’d finished alb came home with the post. which included a very ugly certificate confirming my score in the stupid test: 33 out of 33 points. now admittedly the test was not difficult and its content was in part inane (i can find out where i need to register my dog when i get one, thank you. and i’m aware that the national socialists established a dictatorship and not a monarchy, a democratic state, or a principality. and i did already know that there is no german law prescribing that women must wear skirts.). but still i did a little “pah, that’ll show you!” dance.

100% for me, yay!

even alb thinks i look like a greasy tramp on my passport photo. that’s bad news. i’m going to have to get a new one done tomorrow morning. you would have thought that somewhere on the internet you could find a list of fotokabinen, whatever they’re called. well no. hope it doesn’t rain again tomorrow. and must remember not to wear helmet => hair stick.

• go to top secret place, get top secret advice and top secret form done
• sort out top secret documents, copy as necessary done
• fill in top secret form done!
• translate top secret documents done, send to BS for stamping done
• pick up stamped top secret documents from BS done
• get secret agent photo taken yes, look like mad homeless person. good.
• take top secret everything to top secret place done, resulting in apoplexy on my part
• wait, secretly