get over the past

My past is really not something I want to remember. I had an extremely hard time in school, being teased, beat, spit on, ext. I had NO self-confidence and NO self-esteem. It was hard for me. I messed up in high school cause I was so worried about what other people were thinking of me and was afraid to stand up and take charge of my own life. I am such a DIFFERENT person now. I am nothing like I was before. My self-confidence is THROUGH THE ROOF (well maybe at the ceiling) and my self-esteem has grown tremendously. I am working on using my past as a learning experience rather than a nightmare. I believe that if I keep a positive attitude, stay proactive, and keep my eye on the goal I will be over it in no time and I can move on with my life successfully.

My reason to do this is really lame. I was in Middle School last year… How life easy was. It’s not actually High School that’s made my life so crap, but so many of my friends left school and so many new students came and it just all got frustrating. Now I always find myself daydreaming of how wonderful last year was…

I’m so over what other people think of me, but I’m not over the fact that my ex-huband got a co-worker pregnant the same week as he got me pregnant (back in 1993). I chose to terminte the pregnancy for the child’s sake. She would not let my ex go and kept sending me horrible letters. She was also married and cheating on her husband, but that did not matter to her. Whore! I thought he was the love of my life. Boy was I wrong. Today my life is 100% better and I’m in love with a great man, but I’m still bitter about being cheated on and giving up a child. I married an abuser the first time. Identical to my stepbrother who raped me from age 3 to 17. I have a great family, great job, never been in trouble with the law, but some days I feel like I could murder – at any moment . . . two men who I want revenge on.

NUFF SAID!

I dropped out of high school during my sophomore year, when I was 15. I had huge amounts of intellect, but I hated school, felt depressed and couldn’t find the motivation to keep going. I spent the next three years not doing much. I worked for a few months and took some community college classes, but that was it. My parents believed I needed that time to “figure things out,” so they supported me.

Today, I’m 22, and the intervening years have brought a ton of good changes for me. I’m halfway through my bachelor’s degree and I’m an A student. I have a good job, I’m getting married next year, and I’m planning for grad school.

I know I should be content with the choices I made as a teenager, because they eventually led me to where I am today, which is a good place. There’s no reason to believe I’d be any happier if I’d finished high school and gone straight to college. No one else condemns me for being a high school dropout, but I can’t help condemning myself sometimes. I still think about how I wasted all that time, how much potential I had, how I should have been a big success and I wasn’t.

I’d like to really accept my past and feel comfortable with it, not ashamed of it. I’d like to be able to concentrate on doing well in the present without thoughts of the past and how I need to “make up” for it. I think that’s when I’ll know I’ve achieved this goal.

I’m sick of regretting the years I lost to my ex. Time to move on!

I don’t care about what happened last year.
For once, I’m happy and looking forward to the future

I was going out with my ex boyfriend for two months and he wanted to see me 24/7 but I couldn’t see him that much, because I have to watch my family and it wouldnt work and it was either his way or the highway, but then the next day he called me and told me that it was over, he said it like this, Ashley, its over and have a wonderful life, and then he called me a whacko and leave him alone, and that is what hurt me the most, and I cant get over him, I have tried everything, but nothing works, i am falling in love with him and i told him that and he started crying and hung up on me, so now he is the only thing that i can think about…. i dont know what to do, i still love him….

i could change wat happened to me i wish i could change wat happened to her to
but i cant and it sucks for months..well a year now its eaten me up inside and all i wanna do is tell her its okay but i nv will be able to

The reason I know that I have met this goal is because over the last few months I have forgiven, been forgiven and am OK with what has happened to me.

I don’t hurt anymore from it and feel free and able to look towards the future.